Interviewers aren’t known to be big fans of facial piercings. That’s why when Winne Rose Cohen decided to keep hers in for her Goldman Sachs interview, people thought she was setting herself up for failure. “I’m not going to lie,” her friend Maria Biesecker tells UTB, “I told her to keep it in. I really wanted that position. I didn’t know my backstabbing would backfire on me.”
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Student Who Spent 3 Hours Getting Resume to Fit One More Line Claims to Not Have Time to Do Anything Political on Campus
Sources confirm that College Junior Gideon M. (W ‘19), who claims that he does not have time to do anything political on campus, spent the entirety of Tuesday evening trying to fit one more line onto his resume.
Have you ever stress-walked through Huntsman Ground floor, looking for an empty GSR to cram for that Intro to Astrology exam you thought you'd get an easy A on, but turns out it's actually kinda hard, and passed rows of virtual fireplaces on the TV screens in each room? Did you think "Wow, who are these bozos taking up perfectly good GSRs just to sit around and pretend to fucking roast marshmallows around a goddamn fake fire?"
Connor Adler (C ’19) tries hard to be frugal with his spending. When it comes to going out for costly brunches with his friends, he makes sure to monitor his consumption.
While sitting at a table in the basement of Van Pelt on Monday afternoon, Madison Cooper came to a realization that felt so right, it was as if, deep down, she had known it her whole life.
Four classes is a nice course load. Many Penn students take five in a semester. Some real overachievers take six. But Engineering senior Ken Hooper has taken on EIGHT classes this fall -- and somehow still has a GPA of 0.4.
Freshman Brian Harrison (W ‘21) was more than excited to come to Penn. He couldn’t wait to start his new college life, and meet all the other extraordinary people in the strongest class Penn has ever seen.
College senior Joseph Peralta did the unthinkable. “I quit every single club I’m involved in. My tech incubator, my consulting club, all six of my A Cappella groups. Every. Single. One.”
It’s a hard day to be a Quaker. As a school that lives and breathes football, Penn was heartbroken this past weekend when a Yale victory kicked the Quakers out of the running for a cumulative 41/42 of the Ivy League trophy.
A recent report from the Penn Administration notified students of a revision to the University’s Code of Academic Integrity following an incident that occurred during a GEOL100 midterm. An unnamed student pulled out a walkie talkie during the exam to ask his friend questions from the test. His friend, who took GEOL100 last semester because he actually "likes rocks", was reportedly sitting in their shared apartment flipping through his own notes.
Panic reigned supreme on the floors of the New York Stock Exchange when Penn reported that the exchange rate between Meal Swipes and Dining Dollars (MSDD) would be fixed at a historically low $4.87 for Q3 2017.
As part of the University’s ongoing commitment to improving its curriculum, the College of Arts and Sciences is testing the waters with a new course titled “Intro to Astrology” (ASTR365).
Michael Robertson (E ’20) has a lot of homework and several midterms this week.
What Evan Parlucci (C ’21) initially thought was a trendy, convenient addition to his iPhone ultimately resulted in his rapid demise.
Who would have thought? When one student cracked a joke about Louis C.K. in class, he was shocked to see that not everyone liked it.
Sweet Jesus. It seems that in Penn’s construction boom, including the New College House, they have decided to to extend the notorious Locust Walk Wind Tunnel that currently exists from the 38th Street Bridge to 40th Street by six blocks.
The numbers are in.
On the last day of every advance registration period, thousands of students flock to PennInTouch to make key last-minute changes to their schedules—or at least they try. Because of PennInTouch’s limited functionality, only a handful of people can ever be satisfied.
Look, I'm not a bandwagon fan of the Philadelphia Eagles.
You know what they say: stand anywhere on Penn’s campus, throw a rock, and odds are you’ll have dented a sign that says Perelman on it. Members of the Perelman family have given millions to Penn, and in return their names decorate everything from the Ruth and Raymond Perelman Center for Advanced Medicine, to the Perelman Quadrangle, to the Ronald O. Perelman Center for Political Science and Economics, to the Biff Perelman Center for Gastronomic Amelioration (formerly known as the drab green Penn Park outhouse).