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'I Need a Fucking Break,' Says Student Who Just Got Back From Break

(01/21/18 9:16am)

As students continue to readjust to campus life and new classes, many are enthusiastic for the opportunities presented by a new semester. Others, however, are not as excited. Frank Vago, a sophomore in Wharton, was among the students that expressed a need for vacation after being on campus for only two days.








This Veterinary School Professor Wants to Teach Canine Medicine Using Nintendogs for DS

(01/23/18 5:53am)

Professor Susan McMahon is what you might call a veteran veterinary professor: she is well-known for teaching canine medicine at Penn Veterinary School and has been a member of the faculty for over a decade. What most of her students don't know about her, however, is her passion for video games, particularly Nintendo DS games. 



Freshman Doing Recruitment Not Planning on Pledging Sorority, Just Loves Small Talk

(01/13/18 6:22pm)

Walking around campus this past week, sorority rush stood out like a sore thumb. Droves of freshman and sophomore women were standing outside in the cold, waiting to be let into the sorority houses with the possibility of one day becoming a sister. The range of reasons as to what had brought each Ivy League student to the rain covered steps of these sorority houses varied greatly. For some it was the hopes of finding a bigger group of friends, for some it was the appeal of parties and a bigger social life, but for Abby Gallagher (C '21), it was small talk. Abby is obsessed with small talk.




Student Who Exclusively Eats Allegro's at 1AM on Saturdays Speaks out About Supporting Local Businesses

(01/21/18 9:16am)

She’s almost easy to miss, but sitting in the far back booth at Allegro Pizza and Grill is junior Danielle Hough, an activist if there ever was one. And her valiant effort to keep local Philadelphia businesses afloat has not gone unnoticed.


Report: 9/10 Study Abroad Students Won't Shut the Fuck Up About Studying Abroad

(01/17/18 7:07am)

A recent investigation showed that over 90% of Penn study abroad students talk about their traveling experiences for “overwhelmingly large amounts of time” in everyday conversations. Sociology professor John Phillips and his team of PhD candidates conducted the study on over 200 students who went abroad during this past fall semester.



Student Planning On Spending Winter Break Reading Ahead For Next Semester Finishes Fourth Page Of Introduction

(01/15/18 4:39pm)

Katherine Russell (C ‘21) had a rough first semester. After overloading on credits, going on way too many date nights, and getting hooked on opiates, Russell bombed her finals and ended her first semester of college with a less than ideal GPA. She was disappointed, but knew she could’ve done better.




Wow! This Kid's Peak Efficiency is Between 1:30 AM And, Like, 1:35 AM

(01/22/18 12:38pm)

In a stunning declaration to all of his 17 twitter followers, Ethan Kroove (E ‘19) announced today that his peak efficiency is between like 1:30 AM and, like, 1:35 AM. This sliver of time finds Kroove fully focused and getting shit done like no other time of day. And while some of his professors have warned him not to wait until the night before to complete an assignment, Kroove just has to wait until 1:30 AM and everything suddenly makes sense. “It’s like, I don’t even need Adderall because I’m so in the zone,” he told us.