Jack (W '19) recently read an article in Street about the fetishization of Asian women. Though he has only hooked up with Asian women, Jack, who requested his last name be omitted, insisted that he “objectifies women of all ethnicities.” Nice!
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Lisa Cutler (C ’19) knows that we are on the brink of a revolution. Or maybe one that started a couple months ago.
Come on, guys. Seriously.
After 38 long minutes of investigation, Ryan Chakrabarti (C '20) confirmed that the grunting, panting, and moaning noises coming from his suitemate's room were the result of a deadlocked Wii tennis game, not a torrid love affair.
Fun, Flirty, DIY Mason Jar Tricks That’ll Help You Preserve Your Stolen Souls, Store Homemade Gooseberry Jam, and Get That Blackrock Internship
Do you need a vessel to store a viscous liquid like a jam, marmalade, spread, tapenade, or dip? Do you need a catchy way to attract new converts to your New Age religious practice? Well, ok, but do you need a job for the summer to begin accumulating wealth and capital?
Emergency services were notified last night of a potentially unconscious student in Riepe College House. A concerned bystander reported the incident after reading a comment left by Rachel Beyers (C '19) on an Instagram post by Lily Fitz (W '19).
You wouldn't think it, Penn’s food truck scene sort of serves as a metaphor for its hookup culture. Like most intimate relationships on campus, the noon lunch rush is characterized by plummeting standards, avoiding eye contact, and hyping up how good it was to all your friends afterwards. Unfortunately, one food truck owner seems to have caught feelings for a particularly devoted customer, and the consequences look dire.
Jonathan Francis (E ’21) is pretty stressed out nowadays. The CIS major has been bombarded with programming assignments since NSO and can now officially LaTeX better than he can talk to girls.
When you want something, ask for it. If you don’t get it, demand it angrily. If that still doesn’t work either, form a union! Pledges at Penn have heeded this advice, uniting over obscure forms of hazing in order to get something they desperately need: better health benefits.
5 Ways to Relax Over Spring Break Despite Having No Internship Offers and 3 Midterms Right After Break
1. Cry. You’ve probably already done this. It’s okay. Cry some more, eat some ice cream, and marathon "New Girl" on Netflix. Try to forget about the impending load of work that’ll hit you the Sunday before you come back to Penn.
It is commonly said that "the grind don’t stop." And for numerous Wharton students, the grind for summer internship positions has already begun.
For Jess Kim (E '21), it was just another mixer with Castle. Upon arriving, she dropped her $2500 Moncler jacket behind a leather couch in a dark room—like she normally does—but when she returned to get it two hours later, it had mysteriously vanished.
Let’s face it. Freshman boys do not yet have the charm nor the skill to execute a decent strip tease. That’s why, to spice up big-little week, Pottruck will be offering classes to show these pledges how to shed that awkwardness and hopefully make an impression on the ladies.
Pursuing a concentration in finance, Mark Sullivan (C ’18) must know what he is talking about when he says that funneling money through a virtual app is basically a money hostage-holding service. That’s why he doesn’t use Venmo. “I would never give in to the fad,” Sullivan has been heard saying on more than one occasion. "My values and beliefs are the most important thing to me—I put that on my Bain application, so you know it's true."
Professor J. Scott Walden, who teaches CIS 239, was appalled when he saw his current class’s performance on the first midterm. Although Walden has consistently received an instructor quality rating between 0.7 and 0.9 out of 4.0 for the past nine semesters, it is the first time he has seen his negligence in teaching truly affect his students.
He’s hot, he’s the It Boy in your cohort, and he’s a future titan of industry. It only makes sense that you want to impress him in the bedroom! Be careful, though, ladies. Not every Wharton guy is into the same kinks you are. Next time a Huntsman Hunk asks you to call him Uncle Sam in the bedroom, try one of these tips to refuse without ruining the mood:
Just when he thought college life couldn’t get any better, Harold Green (W ’20) was enlightened to the opportunity of a lifetime: travel to a foreign country, spend a week getting drunk on cheap alcohol surrounded by equally-drunk college students, and also be covered in sand from head to toe. Only for the low cost of twelve-hundred dollars.
Sacrifice: it defines us.
As part of a new initiative to improve mental health on campus, CAPS and Uber are partnering to make it cheaper to visit your therapist's office downtown.
This Student Turned 21. You Won't Believe What Happened Next. (They Had to Pay for Their Own Drinks)
In the weeks leading up to her 21st birthday on February 11, Lauren Mancini (W '19) was practically glowing with excitement. "I had been waiting for this day since I was in high school," Lauren admitted, delicately swirling a modest glass of red wine at 4:30 in the afternoon. "I was so excited to not have to worry about my shitty fake ID getting taken from me or snapped in half by the bouncer at Smokes' anymore."