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Fun, Flirty, DIY Mason Jar Tricks That’ll Help You Preserve Your Stolen Souls, Store Homemade Gooseberry Jam, and Get That Blackrock Internship

(01/01/70 12:00pm)

Do you need a vessel to store a viscous liquid like a jam, marmalade, spread, tapenade, or dip? Do you need a catchy way to attract new converts to your New Age religious practice? Well, ok, but do you need a job for the summer to begin accumulating wealth and capital?



Junior With Commitment Issues Abandons Food Truck After Making Small Talk With Owner Once

(03/22/18 7:07pm)

You wouldn't think it, Penn’s food truck scene sort of serves as a metaphor for its hookup culture. Like most intimate relationships on campus, the noon lunch rush is characterized by plummeting standards, avoiding eye contact, and hyping up how good it was to all your friends afterwards. Unfortunately, one food truck owner seems to have caught feelings for a particularly devoted customer, and the consequences look dire.








Student Who 'Doesn't Trust Venmo’ Stops Getting Invited to Hang Out

(02/28/18 8:09am)

Pursuing a concentration in finance, Mark Sullivan (C ’18) must know what he is talking about when he says that funneling money through a virtual app is basically a money hostage-holding service. That’s why he doesn’t use Venmo. “I would never give in to the fad,” Sullivan has been heard saying on more than one occasion. "My values and beliefs are the most important thing to me—I put that on my Bain application, so you know it's true."


'I'm Very Disappointed by the Midterm Scores,' Says Professor With 0.82 Instructor Rating

(03/02/18 11:07am)

Professor J. Scott Walden, who teaches CIS 239, was appalled when he saw his current class’s performance on the first midterm. Although Walden has consistently received an instructor quality rating between 0.7 and 0.9 out of 4.0 for the past nine semesters, it is the first time he has seen his negligence in teaching truly affect his students.


How to Tell Your Wharton Hookup You Won’t Call Him Uncle Sam

(02/28/18 8:08am)

He’s hot, he’s the It Boy in your cohort, and he’s a future titan of industry. It only makes sense that you want to impress him in the bedroom! Be careful, though, ladies. Not every Wharton guy is into the same kinks you are. Next time a Huntsman Hunk asks you to call him Uncle Sam in the bedroom, try one of these tips to refuse without ruining the mood:


Sophomore Excited to Spend $1200 to Be Drunk and Covered in Sand

(03/01/18 9:30am)

Just when he thought college life couldn’t get any better, Harold Green (W ’20) was enlightened to the opportunity of a lifetime: travel to a foreign country, spend a week getting drunk on cheap alcohol surrounded by equally-drunk college students, and also be covered in sand from head to toe. Only for the low cost of twelve-hundred dollars.




This Student Turned 21. You Won't Believe What Happened Next. (They Had to Pay for Their Own Drinks)

(03/01/18 9:29am)

In the weeks leading up to her 21st birthday on February 11, Lauren Mancini (W '19) was practically glowing with excitement. "I had been waiting for this day since I was in high school," Lauren admitted, delicately swirling a modest glass of red wine at 4:30 in the afternoon. "I was so excited to not have to worry about my shitty fake ID getting taken from me or snapped in half by the bouncer at Smokes' anymore."