Okay listen up, you circle-crazed buffoons. You ever been on 38th Street bridge? If you have, you’ve probably noticed that that shit ain't flat. It’s fucking slanted as all hell. The angle on that thing has gotta be like 70 degrees, minimum.
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Furiously scribbling down every point the professor presents, the classmate to your left with the thin, fancy notebook is definitely taking better notes than you.
It’s become undeniably clear that Russia had a massive influence on the 2016 election. Hackers infiltrated the DNC and social media trolls flooded the Internet with misinformation, all with the support of the Russian government.
Amanda Ashberry (C ‘19) just returned from a fabulous spring break hopping across islands in the Caribbean. She went to the Virgin Islands, Trinidad and Tobago, then finished up the week exploring Cuba. “It was just, like, such a culturally rich experience,” she told us over Skype, holding a margarita the size of her head while she lounged on the beach. She said she was especially excited to talk to her post-colonial literature class about her memories from the trip.
Penn will raise its undergraduate tuition to $100,000 next year, the Board of Trustees announced Tuesday.
After a particularly difficult post-spring break deluge of midterms, Karina Jacoby (W '19) was eager to seek some relief at Distrito happy hour with a group of girlfriends Thursday evening.
After another spike in immigration following a scheduled academic break from the University of Pennsylvania, the state of New York has decided to put an unprecedented hold on migration from all Penn undergraduates.
FiveThirtyEight founder and statistically-significant other of your dreams, Nate Silver, will be honored as a permanent fixture on campus following his site’s favorable analysis of Penn men’s basketball. The article, which claims that Penn is the best 16th seed in NCAA history, has electrified a community that very suddenly gives a shit about college basketball and has provoked the administration to take swift, congratulatory action.
OP-ED: Frat Culture Is Toxic and I Will Not Stand for It Unless You Let Me Walk out of Here With These 3 Handles
Frat culture is deeply harmful. Members of fraternities tend to revel in toxic masculinity, privilege, and elitism. Frats cultivate exclusion by rigidly policing who can become a “brother" and who can be let in to their parties, relying on ratios and other sexist tools. This perpetuation of archaic constructs allows fraternity spaces to become breeding grounds for hypermasculinity, racism, and sexual assault.
Study Shows 99% of Students Who Hate Making Small Talk on Locust Love Making Small Talk About How Much They Hate It
It’s the same thing every day. Students with headphones in, eyes fixed on the ground or glued to phones, hustling to get to their destination before they run into a polite acquaintance (or, like, are late to a meeting or something). The Penn student body is wildly diverse, but everybody can agree on one thing: making small talk on Locust sucks.
Sarah Clements (E '19) has always been a huge college basketball fan—ever since yesterday afternoon, around 2 p.m.
Under the Button recently received leaked screenshots of an email correspondence between one well-intentioned, but ultimately misleading, student and one hopelessly romantic professor. The emails, in all their heartbreaking glory, are reprinted below.
There’s generally very little leeway in the tumultuous lives of Penn’s busiest students, so most feel pressured to squeeze the most out of every second they spend on campus. It’s so easy to get caught up trying to optimize study time or strike the perfect work-life balance, but Byron Cooper (C ‘21) is taking efficiency to an entirely different level.
Student Planning to 'Get a Jump Start' on Work Over Spring Break Opens Notebook on Plane but Gets Kinda Sleepy
Emily Brockton (C ‘20) boarded her flight last Friday afternoon with a plan. After just barely making it through this round of midterms, Brockton made a promise to herself to get started on her spring break work during her six hour flight home to Los Angeles.
Melissa Reitman (C ‘21) is not like other girls. “I’ve been giving back my whole life,” Reitman said. “When I came out of the womb, I asked my doctors if they needed any help finishing up.”
Junior Attempts to Reconnect with Kid He Met at Quaker Days After Best Friend Backs out of Housing Agreement
Marc Ross (W ‘19) was enjoying life as a junior. He got his dream internship, excelled in all his classes and even had his living situation figured out before winter break. Virtually unheard of.
Gareth Jones (E ’19) is usually on the ball when it comes to exams. The Mechanical Engineering major genuinely knows his stuff.
My father is the CEO of a multinational investment firm and my mother has won two Oscars, but when I step into Wawa, all that seems to disappear.
Group study rooms (GSRs) in Huntsman Hall are small rooms designed for interdisciplinary collaboration. Much of the time, though, there are only single students in each room, or, even worse, a group of students just aggressively staring out the window at passersby.