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After a decision that some letters should never be used twice in a row, the administration has created a new task force to crack down on Juuling around Penn’s campus.
In this economy, there really are no guarantees. One minute you have enough money to support yourself, and the next minute it could all disappear. Eliza Hampton (C ’20) feels that she has really come to understand this. “My friends will just throw twenty bucks at an Uber like it's nothing. That’s insane to me, especially when it happened last Tuesday, because my parents still hadn’t deposited any money into my bank account.”
I know this sounds crazy. Why would an international pop star be a member of one of Penn’s fraternities? But hear me out. I’ve been mulling over the possibility that this man in Castle was Niall Horan for a while now, and last Friday’s late-night just confirmed why 1D’s (RIP) blond-haired Irishman must be a part of that organization.
Before this past week, Jocelyn was just like any other Econ major: ready to take a soul-crushing job at Bain or Goldman and pass off her degree from the College as one from Wharton. But in the middle of her last semester as a senior, Jocelyn made the decision to cut her academic career short.
An exclusive source has revealed that GEOL 100 TA Kaitlin Jacobs (C ’18) took the class three years ago and doesn’t remember any of the material, but she does have the answer key, so people can check their answers if they want. The source also reported that Jacobs often angled her laptop screen towards the students, allowing them to look over her shoulder as she searched through the answers.
Midterms are over, and it’s time for some much needed R&R. There’s no need to relinquish your standing 4 p.m. GSR booking, though. Instead of railing addy in your study room this week, take advantage of the cramped quarters and stale air of VP, grab a study buddy, and hotbox your GSR with these simple tips:
It's not easy being a dual-degree student, you know. I really envy you single-degree kids sometimes.
There was chaos in the Alpha Sigma Sigma (ΑΣΣ) house last Saturday night. As the sisters got ready for a night downtown full of selfies and tequila shots, compliments were flying. One sorority member, Ashlyn Craig (C ‘19), recalls telling her big, Rachel Goldberg (C ’18), “Oh my god, Rachel, your ass looks so good in that dress. Ugh! Can I just be you already?”
Multiple sources are reporting that Kyle Berman (W ’21), the boy in a leprechaun costume slumped over in the corner of the party and soaked in his own vomit, was a National Merit Scholar in high school.
Hi, sorry if this comes off as rude, but I was just so busy working away on my 20x15 inch iPad Pro. I just can’t help myself—the interface is so smooth. It makes work an absolute joy.
The clock reads 10:33 a.m. My linear algebra professor stumbles in, wearing an oversized sweater and holding a Trader Joe’s tote bag full of decaying books. He glances at the clock, mumbles something incomprehensible, and shuffles to the podium.
Hi reader, this article is totally NOT clickbait. As a publication dedicated to genuine journalism, we stand strongly against the type of titles that Buzzfeed and 16-year-old Youtubers use for their content. We don’t need to do that to get page views. We know you’re loyal and care.
Recent trends are clear: Millennials are not prepared for the workforce. More employers than ever are noticing that potential employees either have the technical training or the social capabilities for today's fast-paced work environment, but rarely both. Still, only the truly inept manage to have neither. Meet one of those guys.
Mariana Rodriguez (C ’18) landed her dream job for after graduation. Well, it’s not actually her dream job, because no actually dreams of being a consultant, but congrats anyway, Mari! She’s looking forward to truly live out “Penn, but make it NYC” a la Tyra Banks and Amy Gutmann.
WICHITA, KS — Approaching stadium security at Intrust Bank Arena, the Penn Quaker Men’s Basketball Team was taken aback last night when they were asked who exactly they knew at the exclusive tournament.
Our best reporters here at UTB recently conducted an investigation into this spring's Econ 010 lecture. We had hoped to cover an exciting course that encapsulated Wharton and gave us new insight into Penn's pre-professional culture, but instead we found an unsettling, strangely erotic place shrouded in secrecy.
Hours 1-3: Wow! I noticed it's pretty quiet in here. I also noticed that a lot of people around me have Warby Parker glasses and messenger bags. Other than the one guy who doesn't realize his music is so loud it's bleeding from his headphones, there isn't much activity yet.
I’ve seen your Twitters and your Facebooks about my generation, little twerp. So what if us "old folks" ruined the housing market and doomed the environment? It’s not my fault that you’re making stupid decisions about money and brunch and “rosé” and pocket pussies.
Impressive! Penn students have abused Wawa's benevolent "free water" policy so severely that Wawa will no longer offer free water to its patrons.
The time between spring break and summer vacation is an awkward period for all Penn students. We live our lives like characters in a Greek tragedy, buried in a whirlwind of assignments, extracurricular commitments, and internship woes while constantly being reminded that summer's freedom is just barely out of reach, even if that freedom means working at a soul-crushing internship for 12 weeks so you can pay for next year’s PV trip. Even the most committed individuals can suffer lapses in concentration during this period.