Unpacking Penn: What Your Tour Guides REALLY Don’t Tell You When You Visit Campus

We at Under the Button recently decided to investigate Penn's campus tours: what are tour guides blatantly not telling prospective students? In order to discover the truth, we went undercover as high schoolers on a campus tour. And we found out that the information missing was, to be frank, astonishing. Here’s some things that our tour guide *conveniently* forgot to mention:

1. The average kitten reaches sexual maturity around seven months of age.
2. Cap’n Crunch’s full name is Horatio Magellan Crunch.
3. The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.
4. The elephant is the only animal with four knees.
5. The average bolt of lightning contains enough energy to toast 100,000 pieces of bread.
6. The only word that rhymes with “purple” is “hirple,” which means “to limp awkwardly.” Nothing rhymes with “woman.”
7. People are more likely to agree with a statement written in Baskerville than any other font.
8. The world’s oldest socks were in fact designed to be worn with sandals. Made in Egypt sometime in the fourth or fifth century, the wool socks have two toes.
9. A Peruvian bulldog named Otto holds the world record for skateboarding through the longest human tunnel.
10. A Frosted Flake in the shape of Illinois once sold on eBay for $1,350.
11. A sneeze travels about 100 miles per hour.
12. Gorillas burp when they are happy.