Loophole Alert! Student Uses Walkie Talkie to Cheat on Exam

A recent report from the Penn Administration notified students of a revision to the University’s Code of Academic Integrity following an incident that occurred during a GEOL100 midterm. An unnamed student pulled out a walkie talkie during the exam to ask his friend questions from the test. His friend, who took GEOL100 last semester because he actually "likes rocks", was reportedly sitting in their shared apartment flipping through his own notes.

When asked about his thought process in purchasing a walkie talkie for his exam, the student informed us that he already had several walkie talkies of different ranges in his possession, and did not need to go out and and buy some run-of-the-mill walkie just for this one exam, like what do we take him for, some kind of walkie talkie fake fan? He then told us, “Penn’s Code of Academic Integrity does not have a provision regarding portable two-way radios, so I figured it was fair game.”

As of now, UTB is unsure if this student is really smart or really, really stupid. Either way, we firmly support the use of walkie talkies in all situations permitted by the University’s revised rules.