"Franzia is Bad," Declares Brave Freshman

Most people are scared to speak up if it goes against the crowd. They agree with the masses and keep their opinions to themselves, even if they know they’re right.

Brandon Rodrik isn’t most people.

At a BYO for Penn Exclusive Club (PEC) on Friday, Rodrik was handed a box of Franzia’s Chillable Red wine. Having prior knowledge of Franzia’s clout among college students, and of the fact that things with Italian-sounding names are usually fancy, Rodrik was excited to take his first sip.

As soon as the first drop touched his tongue, Rodrik knew something was up. The wine was overly sweet, with a vaguely poisonous-tasting alcoholic note. He lowered his cup to the table, grimacing.

Then, Rodrik made the proclamation for which he will be remembered for generations: “Franzia’s bad. Like it’s not that good.”

Upon hearing those words, the five other PEC members at the BYO stood up and started clapping. After four minutes of continuous applause they each gave Rodrik a 20 dollar bill. Then, Amy Gutmann ran into the restaurant and awarded Rodrik the Penn Medal of Honor for his bravery.

Rodrik says the inspiration to speak out in such a bold, unfiltered way came naturally. “I just had this strong, previously unspoken opinion that the dirt-cheap wine I was drinking didn’t have a pleasant flavor,” he said. “So it just felt right to speak up.”

Amazing stuff, Brandon. We at UTB applaud you for your bravery.