​I Purchased a Powerade Water Bottle: Do You Still Think You're Better Than Me, Student Athletes?

Do you know how much a 32 oz. Powerade squeeze water bottle 2-piece set is on Amazon?

$18.97.

For $9.49 a bottle, I can be just as good as you, student athletes.

I myself can also sit in class, hydrating for all to see. Where do I set the water bottle down? Not in my bag. Not on the floor. I will set this bottle down on the edge of the desk which I have calculated to be the spot of optimal visibility for the entire lecture. If you’re lucky, I might even leave class to go refill it.

Even better, I get two bottles, so I can give one to a friend. We can set down our water bottles at a Commons dining hall table as we go to get our food. Everyone will know how superior we are with our bright blue table holders.

You no longer have a leg up on me, student athletes. I have closed the divide between us. This club ultimate player has finally made it into the Ivy League.