Things We Wish Were As Fast As The Penn Relay Runners
April 24, 2015 at 6:07 pm
If you couldn't tell from the sudden spike in tracksuits on campus, the Penn Relays are officially here. In the same spot where you stood/stumbled/fell last Friday, runners are now breaking world records. Whatta comparison. Since we're never going to be faster than Usain Bolt, here are few things we wish were.
- AirPennNet
- The High Rise elevators
- The time it takes to complete sector requirements
- The line for a Commons omelette
- Our GrubHubbed Pattaya
- The entire month of February
- The time it takes to walk up the steep part of the 38th Street Bridge
- The delay between drinking espresso and being able to study
- That time when you're meeting someone in Starbucks but get there waaay too early and have to awkwardly wait for the other person to arrive
- When you're drunk at a party and some dude from your writing seminar comes up and asks how you are
- Writing seminar
- Phone calls when your mom wants to talk about your health
- Phone calls when your mom wants to talk about your sex life
- Phone calls
- The Wawa line
- The five seconds after you accidentally take a picture of someone with the flash on and you honestly have no idea what to do
- PowerPoint transitions
- The time it takes your Uber to drive somewhere when the surge price is very high
- The walk from your house to Wawa
- People in VP bathrooms
- The amount of time it takes your heater to heat the air in your room
- The amount of time it takes your heater to warm the heart in your chest
- The time between the after party and the hotel lobby
- The internet when your Netflix won't stop buffering
- Any period of time ever spent in DRL
- Unzipping and re-zipping your backpack for the VP security guard
- The amount of time it takes your heated blanket to preheat
- That one bitch's Snapstory
- The time you've spent removing glitter from your clothes, room, and life in general since Kesha
- Haircuts when your hairdresser is trying to talk about your personal life
- Any interaction with people from your freshmen hall after freshmen year
- The stifled sobs of the person behind you in a VP cubicle
- The time on Locust when you see someone you know but they're too far away so you awkwardly look at your phone until they're close enough to say hi to
- When you're waiting for the food to come
- When you're waiting for the bread to come
- The time the Smoke's bouncer takes to examine your ID
- Us, because we could probably use a few more visits to Pottruck
- The time it takes for your phone to turn on after you plug it in dead
- Kygo's set
- The amount of time it takes a professor to figure out how to play 30 second clip