Senior Year To-Do List:
1. Get an A in at least one of my classes.
2. Branch out and meet some new people.
3. Go to one of those basketball games.
4. Have sex under the button.
I made this list last fall so that I wouldn't spend my entire senior year drinking $3 champagne, painting my toenails and watching Seventh Heaven on the WB.
Setting some goals would be good for me, I thought -- they would help me expand my horizons and maybe improve my overall Penn experience.
(OK, so the button thing isn't so high minded -- but cool, right?)
I can't find my little list anymore, but I did try to accomplish all four goals throughout the year.
Drinking $3 champagne until I passed out every night would have been easier.
First came getting a good grade. How hard could earning an A be? Not that they make frequent -- or even occasional -- appearances on my transcript, but I figured I was pretty smart. I usually know a lot of answers to the Millionaire questions.
Then I found out that to get an A in a class, you have to actually go to class; then you have to stay awake the whole time. You also have to participate intelligently and you have to do all the homework.
It was way too late in the game for me to reform. When I took math sophomore year I used to sign the attendance sheet and then sneak out the back door while the prof's back was turned. I don't think I ever had my eyes open during Urban Studies junior year. This year I did the crossword every day during Spanish.
Academically, I'm a lost cause.
On to my second goal -- meeting new people. I felt I could reach out to other classmates; it might even be good for me. Yeah right. By Senior year, if you haven't met certain people yet, usually there's a good reason (like they're rabid Republicans or closet Billy Joel fans).
About halfway through the year I realized I'd rather stay home and watch Sex and the City with my always-fun roommate Kim than go to bars where men drunkenly yell "boobies" at me or else mock my Bewitched T-shirt.
So then goal number three was a basketball game. I've been hearing about how awesome the games are and how exciting the Palestra is since freshman year, so I was actually feeling kind of guilty about having never attended.
I went to two games: La Salle and Princeton. And as winner of the best defensive player award on the St. Francis Elementary's fifth grade girls basketball team, I think I speak from a position of authority when I say I was underwhelmed.
The team was lame and the Palestra is really small.
And my last goal? The teaser goal? Come on, we all know that having sex under the button is just an urban legend.
Although it can get pretty cold down by the library at about 4 a.m....
In retrospect, maybe I should have set different goals: sex in Judy's office or going to a baseball game perhaps?
Of course, now I have to admit that my senior year and my time at Penn have meant far more to me than a mere to-do list. While none of us have had the same "college experience," I can honestly say I've had a pretty good one.
I've made some incredible friends who still put up with me and I hope always will.
I spent three intense years working at the DP as a reporter and an editor, where I tried to push the boundaries of what we can do as student journalists.
I even learned a fact or two in my classes.
And now what? Maybe I should make another list.
Graduation To-Do List:
1. Remember sunglasses.
2. Wear my strappy high heels.
3. Smile and wave at everybody.
4. Go nude under robe.Comments powered by Disqus
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