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Features  Published 11/08/13 11:27pm

THE WORST Of Your 2013 Halloween Costumes


To see Penn's creative, dedicated and brave Halloweeners, see this post. To experience some snark, read on; it's UTB After Dark, after all. As previously discussed, sexy cats just weren't going to cut it.

Worst Dog:  Is it the consistency of the facepaint, which borders on mime? Is it the sad, lifeless eyes and sadder, more lifeless paws? Is it the overpowering voguing of the dominatrix next to him? We don't know, we don't want to know, we're just going to sit on top of our doghouses tonight wondering what went wrong.

Worst Condiment: If you ever reached into your fridge and pulled out a bottle of ketchup like this, you'd probably be confused. Where's the bottle-ly shape, the form?  And what self-respecting ketchup bottle hangs out with a very earnest belly-dancing gangster rapper?

Most Ambiguous: Ok, girl on the left is clearly an angel. But girl on the right? While we eventually went with "loofah," we played around with "watermelon and dental floss," "sponge," and "shredded human flesh."  Dear Ms. Loofah: If it turns out you were really going for "shredded human flesh," let us know and we will promptly place this in the "best" post from earlier today.

Most Least Effort: Salt, Tequila and Lime over here get some extra points in our book if they made these costumes themselves (but we're pretty sure they ordered them online.) If not for some helpful labeling, these ladies could easily have been Starbursts, or the three members of Destiny's Child during their citrus period. What strong, beautiful, proud women. We need a drink...

Least Literal: "Slutty Woody Allen" 

You know what they say about sluts! They always wear normal clothes except they have shorts on!

Los Mas Desperados: "Morning After" girls

These ladies, who borrowed their boxers and shirts from totally willing hallmates, are covered in SHS condoms and ready to party. And hey, they're already pre-equipped for their walk-of-shame! Ladies, please tell "Slutty Woody Allen" over here how it's really done.

Most "Huh?": Now THAT's how you do a dog costume!

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