Olympic cheerleading

 

Over my three years of writing for The Daily Pennsylvanian and its summer counterpart, I've been to enough press conferences to know what they're about.

So when I covered the Philadelphia 2016 Olympic bid press conference at 30th Street Station (not the best choice for acoustics, by the way), I knew what I was getting into.

This would not be an honest assessment of the city's chances for landing the U.S. bid. It would be more of a pep rally -- 20 minutes of self-congratulations on their 81 percent approval for the bid in a survey of local residents.

But one quote, which didn't really fit into the Summer Pennsylvanian story, just sounded so laughable that it merited mention somewhere.

Philadelphia 2016 co-chair Joseph Torsella on the strengths and weaknesses of the bid:

"I know what I think the strengths are," Torsella said. "I don't have a sense of what our weaknesses are."

I do.

While I've had seven days to put this list together, I only had to spend about seven seconds on it. So here you go Mr. Torsella. Maybe this will refresh your memory.

1. Existing financial problems and one of the nation's most overwhelming tax burdens.

2. Public transportation that features a pair of shabby subway lines that go virtually nowhere and a bus system that criss-crosses the city in an illogical and poorly-explained fashion. And by the way, out-of-towners are used to being able to buy tokens at every stop. Just a thought.

3. An airport that can't handle the traffic it already gets.

4. Two stadia already publicly financed in the last decade, neither of which is an Olympic Stadium.

5. One of the nation's higest crime rates among large cities and a rising murder rate.

6a. Unions that will ensure construction for Philadelphia 2016 is done by 2026. And all venues will be fitted with unneccesary pipes to keep the plumbers' union happy.

6b. Special interest groups that will ensure construction for Philadelphia 2016 is done by 2036. Do you see a ballpark at 12th and Vine? Remember why not?

Hope that helps jog your memory. If I had another seven seconds, maybe I would think of some more. But I don't. I'm too busy enjoying the prospect of good old No. 7.

7. Philadelphia sports fans + Olympics = Booing national anthems.

Especially France's.

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