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Wow! Junior Attends Rumor for the First Time and is Moderately Impressed

(02/10/17 5:00pm)

College Junior Kyra Nelson did what she'd been wanting to do for two and a half years: go to a downtown at Rumor. She prepared herself as well as she could: she tried to look cute, but not too cute, cause everyone knows cool people don't try hard to stand out. "A skirt, a chiffon top, and flatform sneakers scream 'I'm excited for this, but I know how to keep myself together,'" she said. Nelson's friends told her, "You know, Rumor is really overrated anyway." "Yeah, yeah, totally, I know that," she replied.





Given Excessive Demand, Wharton Latino to Begin Distributing Wristbands For Annual Fling BBQ

(01/25/17 6:09pm)

It may still be January, but it's never too early to lock down your Spring Fling food plans. That's why Wharton Latino, overwhelmed by thousands of eager students already asking for wristbands, is planning on handing out admissions for their 2017 Fling BBQ as early as next week. A member of Wharton Latino's executive board stated that "the students' love and excitement for chips and guac is truly beautiful. We couldn't sit by and make them wait until April to get their wristbands. Winter is hard as is, so we figured we could get them in the spirit of Fling right now."



ICYMI: John Legend Is Slaying Right Now

(12/06/16 5:39pm)

While you were stressing about what to wear to formals last week, alum John Legend was kicking ass: he released his newest album, Darkness and Light, this past weekend and was featured on the newly-released Hamilton Mixtape. Darkness and Light is Legend's 5th studio album, and also features last year's Fling headliner Chance the Rapper, Brittany Howard and Miguel.


We Stand With Penn Students Of Color

(11/11/16 7:49pm)

As of early this morning, after a challenging week for many communities both within and outside of Penn, posts on social media have brought to light vile acts of racism and hate committed at the expense of Penn students of color. Although the situation is still being investigated, Under the Button publicly stands with any students that were targeted and impacted by these events. Our hope is that the Penn administration competently handles these occurrences such that those responsible are held accountable and that, in the event that any Penn students are found guilty, they are adequately punished and expelled from our university.




Dear UA Candidates: Stop Promising Longer Dining Hall Hours

(09/20/16 4:55pm)

A word of advice to the freshmen running for UA positions: don't tell people you're gonna get longer dining hall hours. Just don't. That's not how this works. There's a fucking union. Nothing you can ever do is gonna change that. Focus on the things you actually achieve, like doing typical freshman things or training to become a serial arsonist.


Yungbenfranklin Instagram Is The Work Of Art You Wish You Created

(05/05/16 7:00pm)

While many of us were hard at work studying for finals, one unnamed genius was busy creating the most important Instagram account known to mankind. @Yungbenfranklin, or "UPenn Memes", tackles everything from Theos pledge haircuts to Hubbub employee aesthetics. The account pretty much speaks for itself, so stop looking over your study guide and go get a quick laugh out of this thing.



Senior Societies Spring 2016

(04/12/16 5:30pm)

You might be wondering why your living room has been covered in chalk since last week, or why some people are mysteriously carrying around questionable musical instruments during the day. That's because Senior Society Season is among us, and although you might be asking yourself if half of these groups even exist, here are the latest pledge classes you need to know about.




Upenn.snaps Snapchat Account Is Quite Scandalous

(03/22/16 7:00pm)

Have you ever wondered what your nextdoor neighbor was eating for breakfast? What your freshman roommate's boyfriend's cat looks like? What nude white collegiate boys look like with Snapchat geofilters superimposed over their boyish bodies? Sure you have. Which is why you should follow upenn.snaps on Snapchat immediately. The account is supposedly meant to highlight the "raunchier" side of Penn... but take that with a grain of salt.


New Law Requires You Look Even More Ridiculous On A Hoverboard

(02/25/16 8:00pm)

A new Philly law requires that you wear a helmet while riding a Hoverboard or else face a $25 fine. Now, we know this might be your worst fear: you thought you looked so damn cool, riding down Locust on your futuristic Hoverboard, attracting all the ladies with your trendsetting je ne sais quoi. And now you have to wear a clunky helmet! Ugh. It might suck, but make sure you stay safe like Amy Gutmann. Don’t ride a Hoverboard unless you wear a helmet. Or, better yet, don’t ride a Hoverboard at all.