News  Published 10 hours ago

The Balls Are Back In Town

And this year they're in color. We guess Amy G decided plain white wasn't as nondenominational as the Red and the Blue. And although we appreciate her attempt to be more PC, the Queen really sacrificed some of the likes on our inevitable Locust walk Instagram by forgoing the all white balls of yonder years. Like, we know we go to Penn, but is it really necessary for our holiday decorations to reflect this? While we're at it, we'd also like to complain that everything above the 38th Street Bridge looks like a desolate light-less wasteland. But, despite our brouhaha, there are still plenty of reasons to be festive this season, including technology inept professors, furniture stores that also sell food, and the potential return of Penn's most infamous Tumblr. So happy holidays Quakers, you can totally make it three more weeks! 

Features  Published 12 hours ago

Non-Humans of Penn, Volume III: A VP Carrel

(1/...) "People come to me at their worst, and, because of that, I've seen a lot. Ever spend twelve hours one-on-one with someone sopping up their tears with multi-grain Cosi bread as they try to understand orgo? I have. Ever have unimaginative expletives carved into your skin while having a hot-n-bitter Mark's latte poured on your lap? Hey same. 

That doesn't even scratch the surface of my day to day, but I like to think it's all worth it–that my silky, oak-tinged walls and easy access outlets help provide the space these humans need to aggressively type, color-code, flashcard, and silent-fart their way to graduation. 

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Features  Published 14 hours ago

What's HapPENNing?

This week is the worst. The food hangover from Thanksgiving has worn off and now only two weeks of finals lay ahead. It's cold, it's dark, and the lights on Locust Walk are low-key really gross. To try to survive this week, we suggest these events. However, we also recommend sleep, addy, and VP. 

Chanukah Pregame

When? Tuesday, 8:15 p.m.

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News  Published 11/30/15 5:43pm

Freshman Passes Away – Wharton has confirmed the death of Tommy Tercilla, a freshman. Tercilla passed away Sunday from a brain aneurysm. Please check back with the DP for updates. 

News  Published 11/30/15 5:00pm

Professor Of The Year

Have you ever wished you could just sneak a peek of your final exam? That wish came true for some Math 360 students. This technologically-challenged professor inadvertently sent an email — with final exam attached — meant only for the eyes of Elaine to his entire class. 

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Features  Published 11/30/15 10:30am

Random Dude At A Party: Thanksgiving Edition

Is there anything worse than the Monday after Thanksgiving? Unfortunately, yes. Take your current level of depression, and multiply it by at least 10 – that's how awful you'll feel coming back from winter break. Happy holidays!

For this week's RDAP, we probed the deepest thoughts and darkest secrets of our little (read: under 8-years-old) cousins at the Thanksgiving table. Maybe their nonsensical chatter will brighten up your Monday morning, which remember – isn't as depressing as the first day of class after winter break. 

UTB: Can you tell us the story of Thanksgiving?

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Features  Published 11/27/15 5:30pm

Gone Thanksgivin'

Happy post-Thanksgiving Penn folk! We hope you've given all of the thanks and that you aren't drowning in the work you were inevitably assigned. But let's not think about that just yet. Instead, go frolic in your freedom. Time flies when you're not at Penn. 

But before you go, follow us on Twitter (@underthebutton), Instagram (@underthebutton) and like us on Facebook for vital information for your everyday life.

Features  Published 11/27/15 3:35pm

UTB Presents: A Thanksgiving Acrostic

Happy post-Thanksgiving everyone! Here's a celebratory acrostic:

 Published 11/25/15 1:03pm

ShutterButton: Racing To Registration

Ah, the good old days: back when no one cared about the environment, the patriarchy ruled, and getting the perfect schedule meant outrunning all your peers to get to the registration table first. Although we definitely wouldn't have made it to the front of the line and appreciate the fact that Penn has put less of a priority on pure brute strength, we do kind of miss the days when registration happened with actual people. Nowadays we're stuck messing around with Penn InTouch until AirPennNet craps out or we've accidentally signed up for six of the same recitation. Thanks for nothing, technology.

 Published 11/25/15 10:30am

Most Depressing Places On Campus, Volume VII: The Basement of McClelland

We're back with another edition of Most Depressing Places On Campus – it's not that hard to keep this feature going, because we all know Penn has no shortage of bleak spots. This week we venture beneath the warm, cheery walls of McClelland Hall to the eerily silent netherworld below.

There are two main reasons to be down here, and each one is equally depressing. You might be working out in the small, disappointing "fitness room," which is sad because the room sucks and does not lend itself to SABSing, like Pottruck does. Otherwise, you're picking up a package, and it's not like anyone other than Amazon or your mother ever sends you anything.

That said, the area is well outfitted with vending machines. If you're feeling thirsty after your short and empty workout, downing a soda is definitely the move.

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