News  Published 5 hours ago

Meatloaf Madness > March Madness

Fling: it’s all fun and games until your Fro Gro mystery meat “Meatloaf Mix” goes rogue. Sunday evening, a high rise RA found that one of his residents had taken the environmentalist zeal too far, dumping an unopened package of raw meat in the floor’s recycling bin. 

The RA in question sent his hall a salty (umami?) email, with the subject line “Pro-tip: don’t recycle meatloaf.” We’ve got a few “pro-tips” of our own for these high-rise dummies on correct meatloaf recycling practices.

  1. Recycle old Meat Loaf songs from your iTunes library by making fun 90’s mixtapes for all of your friends.
  2. Recycle leftover raw meat by BYOing McDonald’s and having them make it into a hamburger for you. Call yourself the Reverse Hamburglar.
  3. Recycle leftover meatloaf from when you went home to the Main Line last weekend. Make it into a tasty sandwich with some toasty rye bread and ketchup.


 Published 8 hours ago

Kesha Says We Can Party

If Kesha says we can party, then it must be true. The star of our Fling concert tweeted a confetti filled pic of her concert from last Friday. And now, we take a brief moment to thank Kesha for gracing our stage: Thank you Kesha for an incredible performance. Thank you for the inflatable rainbows and samurai swords. Thank you for getting Penn’s name correct on Twitter. We are forever indebted to you, and we might even show you some “University of Penn penises” as a thank you. 


Features  Published 9 hours ago

And The Award For Most Original Fling Tank Goes To...

All 17 student groups who used the Kygo logo! Everyone's a winner!


News  Published 10 hours ago

What's HapPENNing?

We just woke up from our Fling-induced stupor and realized that your weekly dose of events, parties, speakers, and shameless plugs from our favorite campus organizations never quite made it to the interwebs. So, a day late, here goes!

Tuesday @ 6 p.m. in Harrison Auditorium (Penn Museum)

Ellie KemperFor five bucks, you can watch Netflix in real life!

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News  Published 04/20/15 1:53pm

Psych Student Reminds Class All Is Lost

After Experimental Psych Professor Connolly sent out an encouraging message telling students not to stress about post-Fling exams and outlining super specific credit opportunities, which ended with a reassuring “Summer is finally coming,” a student gently reminded the tight-nit 500 person class to get their priorities (and calendars) in order because “Winter is coming.” Whether Anonymous is just more in touch with the imminent reality of finals than the rest of us, or whether he/she want to bring down the class curve by getting everyone to binge watch the new season of Game of Thrones, Connolly should definitely rally her peasant students because it seems this defiant newcomer is making a bid for her throne.

If the unnamed usurper is successful, we anticipate the grade structure of the class to shift a bit:

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News  Published 04/20/15 11:41am

Vanessa Bayer Cast In Film Inspired By Penn Alum's Novel

After a debaucherous weekend of ups and downs, it's important to remind ourselves that becoming Kesha's animals isn't the best way to maximize our potential. Carrie Pilby, a feature film based off of a novel by Penn alum Caren Lissner (C'93), is being filmed in Hollywood this summer. So who better to cast in the film than SNL cast member/proud Bloomer alum Vanessa Bayer (C'04)? We love Quaker collaborations, especially when they don't take place on Wall Street.

Better yet, Lissner describes Carrie Pilby as a novel about "getting out of college and suddenly realizing you still don’t know what you’re going to do with your life." In other words, a Penn alum wrote a book about being a Penn student. So update your LinkedIn and tally up those internship rejection emails – when in doubt, you can always write a novel about your frustrations. 


Features  Published 04/17/15 10:15am

​Fling 2k15: A Comprehensive Guide

Fling is a “Pennstitution,” as the real journalists say. Here’s how to navigate campus once things start going mad.

Friday:

Early Morn

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News  Published 04/16/15 5:00pm

Get A Free Uber Ride Tomorrow...If You Bring An Idea

Uber. Wharton. Privilege. Venture Capital. High ideas. Middle Class Status Anxiety. Fling Drunk. Tomorrow, all of these will combine into one of the coolest and strangest events we have ever seen. From noon to 4 p.m., if you request from University City, Center City, Old City, N3RD Street, Northern Liberties, or Fishtown, Uber will pick you up FOR FREE and you will have 15 minutes to pitch to Philly VCs and receive feedback on your idea.

What will you pitch at the height of your Fling drunk? Wawa food truck? On-campus Rumor? An app that indicates who is down to consensually DFMO? Something like Uber but all the cars are parade floats so you can turn everyday into Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Airbnb but for renting out the spaces on Kappa Sig's couches? An app that scans your pictures and tells you if your frat composite is racist or not? Wow. We cannot give you all the ideas. But good luck!


Features  Published 04/16/15 4:00pm

Kesha Lyrics That Perfectly Describe Your Phases Of Fling

If there's any artist equipped with the lyrical range to capture Fling's emotional/physical roller coaster, it's Ke$ha. Kesha's okay too. Here, we (with the help of Google images) give you all the Ke$ha lyrics you need to channel your inner $ through the highs and lows of Fling. 

When it's Thursday night and the Fling is young. Sunday is very far away. You're ready.

When you're poor from buying tickets to downtowns but you have ARRIVED.

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News  Published 04/16/15 3:30pm

You Know You Make Me Wanna Shout(out) – Feeling passive-aggressive? Stressed? A little tipsy? All three? Release your Fling emotions by sending a Shoutout to 34th Street – it's basically the same thing as yoga. Easy as finding an intoxicated freshman trying to fight their way into the Quad, writing a Shoutout simply means submitting it here by 4/19. Send one to your TA, the squirrel that just won't leave you alone, maybe even Joey from Wawa. Check out past Shoutouts for inspiration. We recommend holding nothing back. As Kesha once said: Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat, just show me where your dick's Shoutouts at.

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