Published 16 hours ago

Random Dude At A Party, Vol. 10

Mondays suck, especially when Spring REFUSES TO SHOW ITS FACE, so we hope this latest edition of RDAP will brighten your day just a li'l bit.

SPEC-TRUM Concert – Saturday, March 28th, 2015

Who are you wearing?

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News  Published 18 hours ago

Safe Sex, Brought To You By College House Vending Machines

Vending machines in all college houses and in Sansom Place have recently upgraded their mediocre snack selection to include...condoms for only a dollar! Thanks to Penn Res and the UA, you no longer need to worry about an awkward interaction with your RA late at night when you realize you need to re-up on some Trojans. Don't confuse the condom for the Nature Valley granola bar, though – these babies aren't edible.

Features  Published 22 hours ago

What's HapPENNing?

We know we might be the blog that cried Spring, but now things are looking up! April is upon us and soon the geese will fly north and the salmon will swim yet again. Celebrate the start of the official UTB Fling countdown (19 days) with our five fave campus activities this week and our Philly Pick!

CAPS: Therapy Dogs

When? Monday from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.

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Features  Published 03/29/15 12:39pm

Locust Flyperlatives, Vol. VI

With rainy days this week, Locust Walk was a bit more bare than usual – but that's okay. We got a box of free matzo and discounted online shopping, so our wallets are pretty happy with this edition of Flyperlatives.

Most Likely to Find the Afikomen

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News  Published 03/29/15 9:48am

Wanna Get High At The Biopond? Bring An Umbrella

Well, looks like the HIGHer-ups finally figured out that people smoke at the Biopond (probably after reading our list of Best Places To Smoke Weed On Campus) and they've taken, shall we say...dramatic action. The sign above has been strategically placed at the main entrance and, as you can see, the consequences are SEVEREGood news is, if you missed out on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, now's your chance to get in on one. You're harming your lungs, but at least it'll be for a good cause!

Features  Published 03/27/15 4:02pm

Things That Accomplish More Than The UA

UA Elections are great because they're something that some people care about a lot, and most others care about very little — what an exciting dichotomy! Today is voting day, so regardless of whether or not you'll be taking to the polls, actively exercising your constitutional right to abstain, or writing in a name like some sort of asshole, it's important to remember that this whole process is largely without consequence (although we appreciate the yearly airport shuttles). Apart from the absurdities of last year's UA "trial," it seems that little has actually been done in the past twelve months, so here's a list of people and things that tend to accomplish more than our Undergraduate Assembly. 

-Penn kids the day after fake St. Paddy's

-The people who think that complaining on the SPEC Facebook is the most practical way to bring about social justice

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News  Published 03/27/15 12:26pm

Fly Like An Eagle, Chomp for Charity

Ever had that dream where a professional athlete delivers hot, steamy food right to your door? Well, Caribou Shack, a charitable restaurant run out of a Domus apartment, is here to make that dream a reality. 

Started by Mychal Kendricks of the Philadelphia Eagles (read: the team that we cheer on for free Dunkin’), Caribou Shack raises money for a worthy (if not slightly ambiguous) cause: to help “one of University City’s own” stay in the US to follow their dreams. If you choose the Mychal Kendricks delivery option, the linebacker will deliver your order himself. So, go ahead and make two dreams come true by ordering a healthy (vegetarian) chicken cheesesteak or a “veggieful” wrap here.

News  Published 03/27/15 10:21am

You Fell For DP Joke Issue: A Tale of Gullibility and Disappointment

At one point or another on Wednesday, you thought a number of things. You thought Emma Watson was enrolling at Penn; you thought Penn banned hard alcohol, and that your Netflix was a goner. You were a victim of the system DP’s joke issue. It's okay, you weren't alone.

But c’mon, didn’t these fantasies sound a tad familiar? Remember when Ariana Grande was coming to Penn, or when Penn deemed losing a PennCard worthy of academic probation? When Skulls was set to take over Amy’s house, or when Amy Gutmann said marijuana for all?

Nevertheless, people fell for it. Hard. And in a few days, when your tears have dried and this whole snafu becomes a thing of the past, you’ll probably think it’s funny too. Until then, check out these Penn-goers who are just like you, and maybe delete those embarrassing overeager Facebook posts. 

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News  Published 03/26/15 5:00pm

Penn Masala To Headline BuzzFeed

As if they hadn't already made it to the big leagues, Penn Masala was featured on none other than BuzzFeed. Among quizzes that tell you how many members of 1D you could take in a fight (we got them all, no biggie), BuzzFeed India wrote a post commending Masala’s new music video, "Bollywood Breakdown." Of course, this comes as no surprise; Masala's already topped charts around the world….wide music genre of iTunes. Congrats, Masala. We hope you remember us when you get really famous and end up on an even bigger site.

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News  Published 03/26/15 4:00pm

Beyoncé and Jay Z: Celebs Not Coming To Philly, Part 2

Looks like we’ve been duped again. Two days ago, self-proclaimed real estate mogul Michael Angelina reported that Jay Z and Yoncé would be purchasing a $20 million condo at 5th and Walnut. However, with tears in her eyes, the VP of Sales and Marketing for the unit stated that “Jay Z and Beyoncé have not purchased the penthouse at 500 Walnut at this time.” 

We have to admit we’re a bit sad that Jayoncé won’t be expanding their dominion from the concrete jungle to Philly. Could you imagine babysitting for little baby Blue? Or catching Queen Bey at Sweetgreen with a quinoa salad in hand? We can only dream…  

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