Published 15 hours ago

Valentine's Day: Expectations Versus Reality

With Valentine's Day only a day away, we thought we'd prepare you for everyone's favorite day of the year the right way. With expectations held high, it's never too early to predict what's really about to come. Chances are at least one of these will happen to you tomorrow:

1. Expectation: You go out on a romantic date. Reality: You go to your TA’s office hours.

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Features  Published 02/12/16 10:58am

Pro/Con/Pro: Walking v. Ubering to DRL

Look, we've all done it – but that doesn't make it permissible. Follow along as two of our most objectively attractive Editors break down your transportation tendencies.

CharCo: Let’s start with the obvious. Walking to class is a free and easy way to NOT look like a tool. It’s that simple! Remember, it costs $0.00 to not be a dick.

Mylès: But what’s the difference between $0.00 and $5.00, really? That’s like, 0.6% of a Canada Goose. You could take that Uber back and forth 150 times before it costs the same as a Canada Goose, which will likely go out of style once you graduate from Penn. (Ed. Note: Unfortunately I’ve seen many a divorcée wearing them around Rittenhouse...)

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News  Published 02/11/16 5:18pm

Penn Researchers Tackle Coke Addiction

Ex-hippies and rich Penn kids rejoice! Penn researchers have found a potential new treatment for cocaine addiction

Although the drug is currently used to regulate food consumption for obese patients and type-2 diabetics, scientists see potential for its use to treat cocaine dependency in the future. The idea behind the drug’s dual function is that cocaine and palatable food, like a burger and fries, activate similar receptors in the brain. 

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Features  Published 02/11/16 2:10pm

UTB's Guide to Galentine's Day

Planning a Galentine's Day celebration with your bestie/house/srat group chat, complete with Grey's, wine, and endless bitching about how you're going to totally going to die alone even though you're 19 and could literally have three 20-year marriages before you even start developing dementia? 

Well, STOP. You're young and alive in a major metropolitan area and could definitely do something better, like hitting up a male strip club to objectify some men with muscles and moves (because you're not going to find that combination at Smoke's, sadly). We've already scoped out Philly's male strip club scene, which unfortunately consists of a single club called Upstairs at Risque. We trolled its treasure trove of Yelp reviews for the essential information for your GNO:

There truly is a lid for every pot

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News  Published 02/10/16 6:49pm

How To Celebrate Chinese New Year Away From Home

Happy day #3 of Chinese New Year! For those who celebrate it, Chinese New Year is always a difficult time to spend away from home. CNY isn’t the same without beating a twerpy little cousin at mahjong, but nonetheless, we’ve come up with a few ways you can celebrate Spring Festival right here at Penn:

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 Published 02/10/16 2:48pm

ShutterButton: Wholesome Dining à la Hill

This culinary masterpiece was spotted last week in the revered Hill Dining Hall. While at first glance it may appear to be a pair of severely infected Twinkies or radioactive cheesesteaks, it is actually some form of dessert, comprised of bananas and ladyfingers. Nothing caps off a well-rounded, satisfying meal quite like this fruity fiasco…except for maybe the subsequent trip to SHS.

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News  Published 02/10/16 12:22pm

Here Are Penn's Hottest TAs

You shared, we listened. Brace yourself because you're about to be blinded by this year’s hottest TAs! Make sure to log into Penn In Touch now so you can switch into ALL of their classes.

Kristijan Gjorgjevik - ECON 10

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News  Published 02/09/16 5:30pm

Breaking News: Someone Actually Likes Philly!

Just beating out national landmarks like Natchez, Mississippi, and Southern New Mexico, Philadelphia has come out on top of Lonely Planet’s “most unexpectedly exciting” places to visit in the US.

Rounding up the reasons why the travel guide company seemed to love the City of Brotherly Love:

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Features  Published 02/09/16 3:29pm

Most Depressing Places On Campus, Volume XII: The Love Statue

Ah, the LOVE Statue. A truly iconic piece of our campus.

More than likely, you took a picture in front of it with all your new friends during NSO. Maybe your mom made you pose with her in front of it during Parents' Weekend. The LOVE Statue is normally associated with happy memories, with friends, with family, with significant others. 

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Features  Published 02/09/16 1:59pm

Random Dude At A Party, Mardi Gras Edition

It's that time of year again – Mardi Gras –where folks from all over flock to the streets of New Orleans in order to let the good times roll. These friendly fellas were found on Bourbon St., celebrating the occasion.

UTB: Where are y'all from? 

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