Published 1 hour ago

50 Shades Of PPE

We’re not exactly sure what this means, but who cares! It’s almost spring break and even complicated philosophy can be fun when you include BDSM sex. While it’s safe to assume this TA just wanted to better engage students, it’d be more fun to think of some other options. Perhaps the TA was looking for some in class role-play for a more kinesthetic learning experience. Or maybe the TA was genuinely interested in the multifaceted and complex philosophical nature of Dom-Sub relationships. Regardless, any student should be excited when a TA tries to mix things up. Let us not forget the words of a wise and noble poet, “sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me.”

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News  Published 11 hours ago

And The SPEC-TRUM Spring Performers Are…

The wait is over! SPEC-TRUM has finally announced the artists for this year’s Spring Concert. On March 28, World Café Live will welcome Rae Sremmurd, OG Maco, and Chynna Rogers to the stage.

You know Rae from No Flex Zone, Up Like Trump, and No Type. OG Maco is the artist behind U Guessed It, and the recently released FUCKEMx3. (We approve.) Chynna is a local rapper, and she’s casually A MODEL. Get a sense of her rap style here and here.

If this lineup is all rap, what does this mean for Fling? Will there be a pop star in our midst? Only time will tell. Get tickets here

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News  Published 19 hours ago

We're Getting Yet Another Coffee Shop, Except This One Has A Fancy Name

There are lots of different things we wish to see added to this bustling community: perhaps a food option besides Wawa that's open late on the weekends (the bring back Philly Diner movement begins now), a new gym with little treadmill cubicles so you don't have to make so much awkward eye contact with semi-acquaintances in Pottruck, or maybe even an open napping space where you can nod off and drool to your heart's content between classes free from social stigma. 

Naturally, University City is answering our requests with the one thing we really don't need more of: coffee. It's pretty rare that you would find yourself wandering the 3900 block of Chestnut Street, but you may wanna make the trip because Petrus Ky Cafe is offering complimentary coffee tomorrow. So, in the spirit of midterms and spring break being just around the corner, go ahead and treat/over-caffeinate yourself.


News  Published 22 hours ago

The Penn Canada Goose Tumblr Has Finally Arrived

Ya, just kidding; you didn't get into your srat/frat/GDI crew by being different. Why be ~unique~ when you can just fly with the rest of the flock and get the same black Canada Goose and some sweet Bean Boots? Just follow the three simples rules of Penn fashion: 1. Your outfit should be monochromatic, 2. Your outfit should not cost less than $1000 dollars, and 3. If you gotta go with a color, it's gotta be salmon. No exceptions. If you play your basic little cards right, then maybe someday you will end up on this blog!

Real talk though: if you can afford a $600 dollar coat, maybe try a little harder? There are so many even warmer coat options (just one example). No one will fault you for taking a risk, and you probably won't end up on a blog highlighting Penn students' inability to think differently. 


 Published 03/03/15 4:31pm

Philly Bridges Stages Wedding To Educate International Students About 1950s America

Philly Bridges, a branch of the Penn Christian student group, is hosting a Demonstration of an American Wedding. It's meant to educate international students about the types of weddings that take place in America. Naturally, it features a bride and a groom. Because no other people get married in America. We wouldn't want to deceive international students and let them think otherwise. All Penn students are invited to attend this educational and fun event at Houston Hall Class of '49 Auditorium on Thursday. 


News  Published 03/03/15 4:01pm

Drones, Drones, All Type of Drones

Chips and mints and seashell drones. Just kidding, but hey look! Someone flew a DRONE over the Schuylkill! Accompanied by no music and traveling at the speed of a brisk power walk, this drone caught some trippy images of the frozen river, serving as a reminder of how cold it is and how much we want to leave Penn for break!!! Okay, perhaps a bit of an extrapolation...but like not really. Just enjoy this minute and a half of silent bliss, and know that soon you’ll only have to vent about exams SOME of the time.

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News  Published 03/03/15 1:52pm

Goin' Down to South Mark('s Café)

Gonna have ourselves a South Park marathon? On Sunday, the channel was changed in Mark’s from the usual local news and/or sports station to Comedy Central (for a solid 8 HOURS), bringing some Cartman into our bleak, midterm-riddled existences. Why the tone-shift, you may ask? Maybe the good people of the café just wanted us to find some Zen in our lives, or maybe someone went rogue and decided to be the architect of their own TV choices. Either way, watching a closed-captioned Kenny die on repeat while your GPA drops beats sending another ironic Snapchat captioned “VP for daiz” while you stare at the faded mahogany of a 5th floor cubicle, pining for spring break.


News  Published 03/03/15 11:57am

Corner Bakery Café Opening In Less Convenient Location Than SHS

We’re not really sure why you’d ever be over at 38th and Market (especially in this weather) but if you do get lost one day trying to find Chili’s, we suggest stopping in at Corner Bakery Café to reflect on your poor navigational skills.

Opening on Wednesday, March 25th, Corner Bakery is what we imagine as a less expensive, possibly worse Metropolitan Bakery. Or a Panera that added pancakes to their menu. 

If you do choose to schlep over to Corner Bakery, we recommend going on opening day as the first 100 customers will take home a travel mug (that you’ll probably drop and break on the way home) and free coffee for a year (which sounds good until you realize it's on 38th and Market). So welcome Corner Bakery, like we told all our NSO friends, we should toootally get lunch sometime.

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News  Published 03/03/15 10:24am

Five Possible Uses For The Random Empty Space On The Fifth Floor Of Van Pelt

The fifth floor of Van Pelt Library has been stripped to its bare bones. All that remains is an awkward modern seating area and a glass staircase protruding from the fancy ass sixth floor. What's being built here? Where are the books? Why is it sometimes being vacuum cleaned? We don't know. And Van Pelt won't tell us. So, we've decided to speculate on a few possible uses of this mysterious concrete cavern. 

  1. It's going to be a boxing ring because the last round of OCR is actually like fight club and it has to take place on campus.
  2. It's going to be a playroom to leave your friends when you go study just like your mom used to do when she went grocery shopping. 
  3. It's going to be a nice warm place for all the dogs on campus to meet up at night and play poker while PennVet is under construction. 
  4. It's going to be a space for the crossover between 50 Shades of Grey and the Wharton start-up incubator because it has lot of hard surfaces and open spaces to experiment. 
  5. It's going to be a rehearsal space for Penn's ONLY grad student dance troupe because the graduate students need to be able to quickly steal their registered carrels at all times. 


News  Published 03/02/15 4:40pm

You Know What To Do With That Big Fat Book...

"...Weigle, Weigle, Weigle." Or, at least that's how we envision the 2015 remake of this classic 2007 magical musical moment. Created to celebrate the opening of the Weigle Information Commons and nominated for the Best Musical Category of the Libvid Awards (obviously), our latest video find is perhaps one of the most earnest videos we've ever seen.

You know what, vocally talented and incredibly happy singers? We agree! Despite students occasionally yelling into cell phones and the lack of convenient bathrooms, Weigle is great. It has booths reminiscent of a waiterless diner, its own printing section with a working stapler, and opportunities for a mini power trip when you claim your reserved space. In fact, after watching this, we can't help but skip there whistling with all our friends right now! Because in Weigle, everything's waiting for youuuuuuu.


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