Published 3 hours ago

Flyerer of the Week: Hammock Edition

This week we wanted to shake things up, so we brought a Locust vendor into the mix. Odds are you've seen this woman today, and lucky for us, she really didn't hold back! Read on to hear everything she had to say:

Alright, I’m trying to buy a hammock for our Under the Button office.

Let me tell you something, watch this…

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News  Published 6 hours ago

Hill Is Goin' In

And they're going hard. Seriously, after years of being called the worst dorm on campus, Hill is taking the matter into its own hands. We came across this eloquently punny graffiti last night, and instead of being offended, our respect for the building that everyone loves to hate has only gone up. After all, you can just feel the raw emotion that went into this.

 Published 22 hours ago

UTB Presents: A-Gut Presenting Malala

If you got too caught up in shopping with Usher, you might not have heard that Philly was graced with the incredible Malala Yousafzai at Forbes Under 30 Summit earlier this week! And guess who introduced her...? Who else but our flawless president, Amy Gutmann! We can only imagine how picturesque the moment was (read: we haven't laid eyes on any photos of the pair, ugh). 

Looks like Amy is on a roll, racking up honors and accomplishments like she's some kind of wonderful. Keep doing your thang Ms. Prez, we’ll just sit here and continue documenting your elegance

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News  Published 10/23/14 4:50pm

Tragedy of the Commons III: Hella Fruit Flies

So it seems a swarm of fruit flies has descended on the Commons' stash of rolls. One might not think that this basket of stale bread would be the #1 destination for flies, but apparently anything's possible. It's really almost a situation where you can't even be mad, just sort of disappointed. If only we could say that this was the first time something like this has happened, but alas. Still though, let's look on the bright side -- it's just a lil' extra protein! And realistically this could have been much, much worse.

News  Published 10/23/14 2:50pm

Penn Increases Green Stuff

Being the President of Presidents isn't some lazy-ass job, so Amy has been dropping initiatives left and right. Whether it has been co-hosting the dopest halloween party on campus (Madeon who?) or being the hottest 65 year old on this planet, A-Gut has been on her grind. Coinciding with Green Week, Penn has launched Climate Action Plan 2.0, a "roadmap for environmental improvement and sustainability on campus to 2019 and beyond." 

The original Climate Action Plan has already achieved success across campus, including cutting carbon emissions 18 percent since 2007, reducing the amount of waste to landfills by 10 percent, offering more than 170 courses related to sustainability and increased sustainable food. Goals for CAP 2.0 include 7 percent carbon reduction by 2019, in line with a goal of carbon neutrality by 2042 and a lot of other dope stuff that's a little over our heads. But Greenzo def approves. 

News  Published 10/23/14 12:57pm

Free Flu Shots in Houston -- If you're doing Thirsty Thursday proper tonight, consider heading down to Bodek Lounge in Houston Hall between 11am and 7:30pm today or next Wednesday for a free flu shot (with PennCard). Five minutes and a little injection and you'll only have to worry about one terrifying disease tonight. 

News  Published 10/22/14 6:41pm

People Care A Lot About Not Caring About The UA

After the DP posted about the Undergraduate Assembly Secretary resigning on Monday, the student body had a lot to say, mostly about how few shits they actually gave. Currently the number of "upvotes" received rivals the number of ballots cast in an actual election. Why you may ask? Well, this. Or perhaps, this

News  Published 10/22/14 2:36pm

We Always Knew There Was Something Living In Van Pelt

Apparently, the fourth floor bathroom of Van Pelt has a different kind of pest problem. We thought Sasquatch's elusiveness was comparable to A-Gut's, but it turns out he's been in good ol' VP this whole time! 

While we value all of Penn's custodial staff, whoever did this is definitely our favorite.

News  Published 10/22/14 12:52pm


This is our confession: At 10:46am today, USHER (allegedly) visited 40th and Walnut FroGro. And he used cash. The superstar is in Philly for an upcoming concert at the Wells Fargo Center, making us fall in love with him all over again.

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