Published 25 minutes ago

Last Minute Valentine's Gifts From Furniture Campus Home Store

You might remember when we wrote about the Furniture Campus Home Store a while ago, when they had a "Grand Opening" for their new Asian Food Market. Turns out that not only is the store great for chairs and instant noodles, it's also great for last minute gifts on Valentine's Day. Amazon orders won't get here by tonight, so we've assembled some of the best options below.

  • "World Map Desk"

This is a great gift for anyone whose valentine loves to travel, but who can't afford tickets to a foreign place. Every time your loved one looks down at her desk, they'll see "UZBEKISTAN" poking out from behind their homework and think of you.

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News  Published 2 hours ago

Pottruck Is Melting

Now you have a decent excuse for not working out today because Pottruck is currently undergoing some shaky renovations. We're not sure if the administration is trying to make the East Coast's first 4-floor swimming pool, or if bursting pipes are just trying to keep us from working off our lonely Valentine's day sadness. Either way, we're just gonna buy some discount chocolate tomorrow instead. 


 Published 5 hours ago

Punny, Penn-y Valentine's Day Cards: Part II

Happy Valentine’s Day! If you ran out of time to head to CVS or you’re afraid to go outside, UTB has got you covered with a second round of sophisticated, authentic, and beautiful V-day cards below. As the polar vortex unleashes its fury upon us (probs because it’s single), remember to show your appreciation for those you love- significant others, favorite meals, a pillow that you sometimes pretend is your boyfriend. Anything, really!

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 Published 02/13/16 4:04pm

Valentine's Day: Expectations Versus Reality

With Valentine's Day only a day away, we thought we'd prepare you for everyone's favorite day of the year the right way. With expectations held high, it's never too early to predict what's really about to come. Chances are at least one of these will happen to you tomorrow:

1. Expectation: You go out on a romantic date. Reality: You go to your TA’s office hours.

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Features  Published 02/12/16 10:58am

Pro/Con/Pro: Walking v. Ubering to DRL

Look, we've all done it – but that doesn't make it permissible. Follow along as two of our most objectively attractive Editors break down your transportation tendencies.

CharCo: Let’s start with the obvious. Walking to class is a free and easy way to NOT look like a tool. It’s that simple! Remember, it costs $0.00 to not be a dick.

Mylès: But what’s the difference between $0.00 and $5.00, really? That’s like, 0.6% of a Canada Goose. You could take that Uber back and forth 150 times before it costs the same as a Canada Goose, which will likely go out of style once you graduate from Penn. (Ed. Note: Unfortunately I’ve seen many a divorcée wearing them around Rittenhouse...)

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News  Published 02/11/16 5:18pm

Penn Researchers Tackle Coke Addiction

Ex-hippies and rich Penn kids rejoice! Penn researchers have found a potential new treatment for cocaine addiction

Although the drug is currently used to regulate food consumption for obese patients and type-2 diabetics, scientists see potential for its use to treat cocaine dependency in the future. The idea behind the drug’s dual function is that cocaine and palatable food, like a burger and fries, activate similar receptors in the brain. 

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Features  Published 02/11/16 2:10pm

UTB's Guide to Galentine's Day

Planning a Galentine's Day celebration with your bestie/house/srat group chat, complete with Grey's, wine, and endless bitching about how you're going to totally going to die alone even though you're 19 and could literally have three 20-year marriages before you even start developing dementia? 

Well, STOP. You're young and alive in a major metropolitan area and could definitely do something better, like hitting up a male strip club to objectify some men with muscles and moves (because you're not going to find that combination at Smoke's, sadly). We've already scoped out Philly's male strip club scene, which unfortunately consists of a single club called Upstairs at Risque. We trolled its treasure trove of Yelp reviews for the essential information for your GNO:

There truly is a lid for every pot

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News  Published 02/10/16 6:49pm

How To Celebrate Chinese New Year Away From Home

Happy day #3 of Chinese New Year! For those who celebrate it, Chinese New Year is always a difficult time to spend away from home. CNY isn’t the same without beating a twerpy little cousin at mahjong, but nonetheless, we’ve come up with a few ways you can celebrate Spring Festival right here at Penn:

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 Published 02/10/16 2:48pm

ShutterButton: Wholesome Dining à la Hill

This culinary masterpiece was spotted last week in the revered Hill Dining Hall. While at first glance it may appear to be a pair of severely infected Twinkies or radioactive cheesesteaks, it is actually some form of dessert, comprised of bananas and ladyfingers. Nothing caps off a well-rounded, satisfying meal quite like this fruity fiasco…except for maybe the subsequent trip to SHS.

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News  Published 02/10/16 12:22pm

Here Are Penn's Hottest TAs

You shared, we listened. Brace yourself because you're about to be blinded by this year’s hottest TAs! Make sure to log into Penn In Touch now so you can switch into ALL of their classes.

Kristijan Gjorgjevik - ECON 10

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