Features  Published 1 hour ago

UTB's Guide to Galentine's Day

Planning a Galentine's Day celebration with your bestie/house/srat group chat, complete with Grey's, wine, and endless bitching about how you're going to totally going to die alone even though you're 19 and could literally have three 20-year marriages before you even start developing dementia? 

Well, STOP. You're young and alive in a major metropolitan area and could definitely do something better, like hitting up a male strip club to objectify some men with muscles and moves (because you're not going to find that combination at Smoke's, sadly). We've already scoped out Philly's male strip club scene, which unfortunately consists of a single club called Upstairs at Risque. We trolled its treasure trove of Yelp reviews for the essential information for your GNO:

There truly is a lid for every pot

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News  Published 21 hours ago

How To Celebrate Chinese New Year Away From Home

Happy day #3 of Chinese New Year! For those who celebrate it, Chinese New Year is always a difficult time to spend away from home. CNY isn’t the same without beating a twerpy little cousin at mahjong, but nonetheless, we’ve come up with a few ways you can celebrate Spring Festival right here at Penn:

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 Published 02/10/16 2:48pm

ShutterButton: Wholesome Dining à la Hill

This culinary masterpiece was spotted last week in the revered Hill Dining Hall. While at first glance it may appear to be a pair of severely infected Twinkies or radioactive cheesesteaks, it is actually some form of dessert, comprised of bananas and ladyfingers. Nothing caps off a well-rounded, satisfying meal quite like this fruity fiasco…except for maybe the subsequent trip to SHS.

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News  Published 02/10/16 12:22pm

Here Are Penn's Hottest TAs

You shared, we listened. Brace yourself because you're about to be blinded by this year’s hottest TAs! Make sure to log into Penn In Touch now so you can switch into ALL of their classes.

Kristijan Gjorgjevik - ECON 10

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News  Published 02/09/16 5:30pm

Breaking News: Someone Actually Likes Philly!

Just beating out national landmarks like Natchez, Mississippi, and Southern New Mexico, Philadelphia has come out on top of Lonely Planet’s “most unexpectedly exciting” places to visit in the US.

Rounding up the reasons why the travel guide company seemed to love the City of Brotherly Love:

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Features  Published 02/09/16 3:29pm

Most Depressing Places On Campus, Volume XII: The Love Statue

Ah, the LOVE Statue. A truly iconic piece of our campus.

More than likely, you took a picture in front of it with all your new friends during NSO. Maybe your mom made you pose with her in front of it during Parents' Weekend. The LOVE Statue is normally associated with happy memories, with friends, with family, with significant others. 

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Features  Published 02/09/16 1:59pm

Random Dude At A Party, Mardi Gras Edition

It's that time of year again – Mardi Gras –where folks from all over flock to the streets of New Orleans in order to let the good times roll. These friendly fellas were found on Bourbon St., celebrating the occasion.

UTB: Where are y'all from? 

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News  Published 02/08/16 6:00pm

What's HapPENNing?

Folks, February may suck now but it's about to get a lot worse. Valentine's Day is this weekend, which means unless you've miraculously made time for a relationship between OCR, pledging, and academia, you're in for a sad week. Come Monday, you can drown yourself in half-price heart-shaped chocolates. But until then, here are some other events to fill your loveless lives.

DP Love Notes

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News  Published 02/07/16 2:11pm

The REAL Stars of OAX's "Sorry" Video

Certainly not the worst of sorority- produced videos, OAX’s production of “Sorry” left us pleasantly surprised. But while you might be praising the performers’ fashionable costumes and swanky dance moves, we’re here to tell you who the REAL stars of the video are:

1) The Unamused Allegro’s Customer (:57)

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News  Published 02/05/16 1:21pm

Finally, Wharton Gets a Shoutout From Lizzie McGuire

Well, not really. But we can dream.  In the most recent episode of Younger, a very mediocre TV show that you’ve probably never heard of, an all-grown-up Lizzie McGuire and her friend mention uber-expensive “douche burgers” that are concocted by none other than graduates of your favorite and most préstigious business school. These fancy food-truck burgers are made with lobster, caviar, foie gras, and served in a gold leaf wrapper at a price worth one textbook ($600). They’re made by “Wharton graduates! Wacky MBAs”, exclaims Lizzie McGuire’s less-relevant friend. While the Penn community might be grateful for another shoutout, it’s a little disheartening that the Wharton legacy will be that of “douche burgers”. Though let’s not pretend that Penn isn’t filled with a ton of douche burgers already.


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