News  Published 5 minutes ago

Something's Fishy at the Upper Quad Gate

In a recent series of College House paraphernalia upgrades, the Upper Quad Gate is now sporting elegantly lavish decor: a hanging fish. It's not April Fools yet, so we're quite sure that this is a genuine attempt to honor the Quad's gothic regalia through maritime cuisine. Plenty of food trucks stake their territory along Spruce Street, but how many of these eateries provide real live fish? Chic new restaurants have been popping up around University City lately, so it only makes sense to continue the trend – why order a "sushirito" when you can stop by the Upper Quad Gate and make yourself a California roll from scratch? While potential members of Penn's class of 2019 receive their admissions decisions this evening, we hope they'll choose the Red and the Blue – how can you get tired of dining hall food when there are so many options around campus? 

News  Published 56 minutes ago

End of Bursar for Graduating Seniors--In a not so subtle way of booting 2015 from the nest, Penn is stripping away Seniors' ability to use their Bursar accounts. While this may mark nothing more than our inability to remain slightly more removed from the purchase of the Penn throw pillow of our dreams, we are feeling all the feels. We'll miss you Bursar. Though your benefits might be negligible, our tears are real. 

News  Published 3 hours ago

The Best Of SPEC's Fling Facebook Event Page

It's a trying time for SPEC. First, Kesha's team sorta, accidentally suggested that she was probably, likely, the Fling headliner. Adding insult to injury, SPEC's attempt at giving away floor passes via flash sales proved to be a complete and utter disaster

...enter UTB. Follow along as we break down the best posts that have graced SPEC's Fling Facebook event page since this whole mess began a mere 10 days ago. And remember: SPEC, despite all this madness, you R who you R, and we would never fault you for that.

Let's start from the beginning.  

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 Published 21 hours ago

Random Dude At A Party, Vol. 10

Mondays suck, especially when Spring REFUSES TO SHOW ITS FACE, so we hope this latest edition of RDAP will brighten your day just a li'l bit.

SPEC-TRUM Concert – Saturday, March 28th, 2015

Who are you wearing?

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News  Published 23 hours ago

Safe Sex, Brought To You By College House Vending Machines

Vending machines in all college houses and in Sansom Place have recently upgraded their mediocre snack selection to include...condoms for only a dollar! Thanks to Penn Res and the UA, you no longer need to worry about an awkward interaction with your RA late at night when you realize you need to re-up on some Trojans. Don't confuse the condom for the Nature Valley granola bar, though – these babies aren't edible.

Features  Published 03/30/15 10:00am

What's HapPENNing?

We know we might be the blog that cried Spring, but now things are looking up! April is upon us and soon the geese will fly north and the salmon will swim yet again. Celebrate the start of the official UTB Fling countdown (19 days) with our five fave campus activities this week and our Philly Pick!

CAPS: Therapy Dogs

When? Monday from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.

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Features  Published 03/29/15 12:39pm

Locust Flyperlatives, Vol. VI

With rainy days this week, Locust Walk was a bit more bare than usual – but that's okay. We got a box of free matzo and discounted online shopping, so our wallets are pretty happy with this edition of Flyperlatives.

Most Likely to Find the Afikomen

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News  Published 03/29/15 9:48am

Wanna Get High At The Biopond? Bring An Umbrella

Well, looks like the HIGHer-ups finally figured out that people smoke at the Biopond (probably after reading our list of Best Places To Smoke Weed On Campus) and they've taken, shall we say...dramatic action. The sign above has been strategically placed at the main entrance and, as you can see, the consequences are SEVEREGood news is, if you missed out on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, now's your chance to get in on one. You're harming your lungs, but at least it'll be for a good cause!

Features  Published 03/27/15 4:02pm

Things That Accomplish More Than The UA

UA Elections are great because they're something that some people care about a lot, and most others care about very little — what an exciting dichotomy! Today is voting day, so regardless of whether or not you'll be taking to the polls, actively exercising your constitutional right to abstain, or writing in a name like some sort of asshole, it's important to remember that this whole process is largely without consequence (although we appreciate the yearly airport shuttles). Apart from the absurdities of last year's UA "trial," it seems that little has actually been done in the past twelve months, so here's a list of people and things that tend to accomplish more than our Undergraduate Assembly. 

-Penn kids the day after fake St. Paddy's

-The people who think that complaining on the SPEC Facebook is the most practical way to bring about social justice

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News  Published 03/27/15 12:26pm

Fly Like An Eagle, Chomp for Charity

Ever had that dream where a professional athlete delivers hot, steamy food right to your door? Well, Caribou Shack, a charitable restaurant run out of a Domus apartment, is here to make that dream a reality. 

Started by Mychal Kendricks of the Philadelphia Eagles (read: the team that we cheer on for free Dunkin’), Caribou Shack raises money for a worthy (if not slightly ambiguous) cause: to help “one of University City’s own” stay in the US to follow their dreams. If you choose the Mychal Kendricks delivery option, the linebacker will deliver your order himself. So, go ahead and make two dreams come true by ordering a healthy (vegetarian) chicken cheesesteak or a “veggieful” wrap here.

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