Features  Published 10/01/15 2:24pm

Most Depressing Places on Campus Volume I: Mark's Cafe

Welcome to UTB's newest weekly feature, Most Depressing Places on Campus! We'll highlight the plethora of spots on our glorious campus to hit up when you want to feel dark and soulless. 

Our premiere Most Depressing Place is a familiar one, the grand originator of every Quaker's Van Pelt coffee shits. Mark's Cafe is hella depressing. 

First, the Mark's aesthetic is like if a school bus crashed into a spaceship, resulting in massive loss of life. The inexplicably yellow chairs and paint on the floor. The metal ceiling and tables. The screeching cries for help from the espresso machine. A beleaguered Bon Appetit employee yelling, "YOU FORGOT YOUR CREAM CHEESE, SIR."

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Features  Published 09/30/15 1:00pm

ShutterButton: The Gospel As Told By A Sketchy Van

The Pope may have skipped town, but he left his artful van (complete with "My Other Car Is The Pope-Mobile" sticker) on Spruce. Li'l Franny was spotted driving the van in the wee hours of Saturday morning, returning from a "sick" gig where he performed his new single. We suppose that he parked his van in West Philly to remind people of his sandal-wearing, gospel-spreading pal as he returns to the Vatican – leaving us with little more than a pile of "The Pope Is Dope" t-shirts in his wake. 

 Published 09/29/15 10:21pm

10 OCR Interview Tips That Are Actually Helpful

On-campus recruitment is upon us folks, and if you're reading this it's too late to pretend you don't need our help. OCR interviews can be make or break, so we've put together some advice that's actually helpful—not like the fluff you get from career services. Enjoy.

1. Shake your interviewer's hand with a uniformly applied pressure of 2.75 Newtons per square inch and your elbow at 110°.

2. Avoid asking "what company is this for again?"

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Features  Published 09/29/15 7:45pm

Gutmann, Furda, and the Philadelphia Brotherhood of Thieves, Part 1: The Encounter

Please welcome UTB's newest feature! Each week we'll be bringing you a new chapter in this exciting tale of friendship, pirates, scholasticism, woe, breakfast sandwiches, and romance. (Think Charles Dickens and serialization, etc. etc., but Penn themed, and not based upon the experiences of 19th century British orphans.)

10:17 a.m., September 29th, 2015.

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News  Published 09/29/15 9:09am

Free Coffee for National Coffee Day – In honor of this most auspicious day, stock up on free coffee from both Wawa and Dunkin' Donuts! Technically there's a one per costumer limit, but seeing as Halloween's right around the corner, it might be time to try out a few different costumes. We all gotta make it to Fall Break somehow, and everyone knows HubBub's prices won't change.

 Published 09/28/15 1:30pm

A Gathering On The Bridge On A Cloudy Fall’s Eve

Hey, so, you probably already got a blurry snapchat of the cloudy sky from every single one of these folks, but we just wanna give props to these souls for their commitment to the possibility of a witnessing a dope celestial event. Even though the clouds got ‘em this time, we hope these dreamers never stop sky gazing. Anyway, we’re pretty sure the Dalai Lama’s behind all of this somehow.

Features  Published 09/28/15 10:00am

What's HapPENNing?

Things that are in: midterms, jaded freshman, sorority apple picking pictures, football gamez (upset of the century!!), counting down till Fall Break. Things that are out: The Pope, add period, Super Blood Moons, naive freshman, coasting through class. When you're not stressing this week, here are some cool events to check out: 

Conversation With Politico's Executive Editor

When? Tuesday, 6:30 PM

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News  Published 09/27/15 8:36pm

It's Lookin' Like the Pope Summoned a Lunar Phenomenon!

Can it be a coincidence that Pope Francis' trip is ending with a historic astronomical event? We think it's because Philly needed something cooler than porta-potties to impress the millions of visitors. Tonight circa 10:11 p.m., the moon is predicted to be subject to a TOTAL (not even partial!) lunar eclipse! And it gets even better because not only will we LITERALLY be able to see the moon ENTIRELY eclipsed, but we are also currently experiencing a supermoon! 

Supermoons (which are excitingly sometimes referred to as "bloodmoons") occur when the monthly new moon coincides with the moon's closest approach to Earth as it cruises around Space on its elliptical orbit. This means that tonight is the night for us earthly mortals to observe the moon at its brightest, largest and clearest! Our lunar friend is also likely to take on a reddish hue which is cool.

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News  Published 09/26/15 5:30pm

Cafe Renata Is Back

After a sudden fire destroyed Cafe Renata this past March, we were all left wondering why bad things happen to good pancakes. But lo, like a phoenix rising from literal ashes, the beloved breakfast place is back in business and better than ever. 

The cafe is thankfully replacing that weird little Subway on 45th and Baltimore, conveniently located across from the Sunoco gas station and next to Diamond Nails. It's really about time. After a long afternoon of pumping gas and getting your gels refilled, you no longer have to search for somewhere to grab some moderately-priced, Mediterranean-inspired brunch. It's truly been a miraculous weekend.

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