Can you smell that? No, it's not the smell of a burnt panini from Mark's Cafe – it's debauchery brewing in the air. But this isn't the kind of debauchery that takes place in the Van Pelt bathrooms. This is a crime that attacks our fragile, finals-addled minds at their most vulnerable. Imagine: It's your tenth straight hour studying BBB, and you jump at the chance for a $1 massage, too exhausted to realize that the sign is written in pencil. But if only you studied the functions of the brain more carefully, you'd realize how easy it is to mess with your head when you've been hitting the books all day, not even taking a break for that burnt Mark's panini.
If the lack of massages is getting you down, UTB encourages you to make studying fun – grab a group of friends and gossip about all the drama from formal in the Loud Study Area. Everyone in Van Pelt wants to hear about who passed out in the taxi on the way home from the Rhythm Room.