News  Published 05/06/16 3:45pm

ALERT: Free Federal Donuts

PSA: Federal Donuts is currently giving away FREE donuts to all customers with a student ID. We repeat: FREE DONUTS. FREE! That’s all, get back to the books. 

Features  Published 05/06/16 1:28pm

QUIZ: Which Geode Will Help You Pass Your Final Exams

Given up all hope? Utilize the immense power of the geode! Don't know which geode to use? Our experts here have created a foolproof method of figuring it out. Take our quiz!

Features  Published 05/06/16 12:31pm

UTB's Guide to Goodbyes

There’s nothing worse than having a heartfelt goodbye with someone after your last final only to see them wheeling their stuff out of the Quad with their Mom three hours later. Do you say goodbye again? Do you just wave? Do they want you to meet their Mom? Are you that level of friends?

Sometimes there’s no good way to say, “Have a nice life,” but we’ve broken it down according to who you’re saying goodbye to to eliminate some awkwardness.

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Features  Published 05/05/16 4:39pm

QUIZ: Which Summer Transformation Are You?

News  Published 05/05/16 3:00pm

Yungbenfranklin Instagram Is The Work Of Art You Wish You Created

While many of us were hard at work studying for finals, one unnamed genius was busy creating the most important Instagram account known to mankind. @Yungbenfranklin, or "UPenn Memes", tackles everything from Theos pledge haircuts to Hubbub employee aesthetics. The account pretty much speaks for itself, so stop looking over your study guide and go get a quick laugh out of this thing.

Ed Note: To the gifted mind behind @yungbenfranklin: The editors at Under the Button would like to formally recruit you to become a member of our staff. Please get in touch with us at at your earliest convenience.

News  Published 05/05/16 1:12pm

Houston Chef Cooking With Franzia?

Looking for a trendy new BYO spot because you've embarrassed yourself too many times at Banana Leaf? Desperately need to spend your last 300 dining dollars before the end of the semester?

The answer might be closer than you think. Yes, we’re talking about Houston Hall.

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Features  Published 05/05/16 11:00am

Things I Will And Won't Miss About Penn

What up, Penn? I know you're used to reading UTB's third-person point of view – we are of the people! – but it's Charlotte Coran here, and rules don't apply to me. Follow along as I break down the things I will and won't miss about Penn in the last post I'll ever write for UTB. 

10 Things I Won't Miss About Penn:

  1. Locust Flyerers
  2. My writing sem professor telling me she'll drop my grade an entire letter if I'm late one more time 
  3. The concept of "a downtown" v. "downtown" (I prefer the latter, but just know that a walk through Rittenhouse followed by brunch at Parc with your mom during Parents' Weekend doesn't mean you've really "explored Philly") 
  4. The lack of outlets in any and all study spaces
  5. Trump's association with our school
  6. The fact that getting food from Auntie Anne's isn't socially acceptable 
  7. Anything SPEC-related (seriously, why hasn't Robyn headlined Fling yet?) 
  8. The card minimum at Metro
  9. The excessive amount of feta Greek Lady puts on its vegetarian gyros 
  10. The practice of ordering apparel for every single social event (why the fuck do I need to commemorate a charity volleyball game with an ill-fitting Gildan tank?) 
  11. *BONUS: The Tab

10 Things I Will Miss About Penn:

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 Published 05/04/16 3:37pm

​Which Last Minute Summer Plan Are You?

Features  Published 05/04/16 12:41pm

A Mid-Finals/Hump Day Treat

It’s already Wednesday and your outlook for the next couple of days is starting to mimic the eerily dim weather outside. But you know what Wednesday also means? That finals ARE ALMOST OVER! Soon, it’ll officially be summer and you can head home, relax, and enjoy time with family and friends. And from May 27th-30th you’ll be lucky enough to experience a marathon of 100 Disney Channel Original Movies. Remember when Troy Bolton tried to balance his love of basketball and his love of musical theater and his social life all at once??? Relatable, huh.

But we digress. Finals are tough. We read our notes over and over again and nothing sticks. We skip to the answers of our problem sets and say, “Oh, I definitely would have gotten that.” And writing papers requires more dedication than a Hungarian student at Penn rushing Owls. But in a couple of days, you’ll forget the difference between igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary rocks. You’ll forget how to calculate the present value of a perpetuity. You’ll forget stressing about your grades and hopefully realize that finals are a tiny little microscopic thread in the XXL Snuggie that is your life.

Here’s the hard truth: You’ll do well on your exams, you’ll get that paper done, and you’ll think to yourself “why did I stress so much about that?”

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News  Published 05/03/16 8:21pm

Harnwell Is Flooded And It Looks Disgusting

If finals weren't bad enough, filthy water is raining down on Harnwell residents. Six inches of water has flooded the 7th floor and has made its way down to the lobby. Apparently, Harnwell residents are being sent to hotels to avoid the disgusting water. You should pack an umbrella and bean boots if you plan to go there later. Happy finals! 

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