"I Took a Gap Year" and Other Sayings To Help You Get With Upperclassmen on Tinder
You’re an older freshman and everything seems perfect: you just matched with a girl on Tinder, you both have your ages listed at 19 or 20, everything is in order. Then she hits you with a dreaded question: “What year are you?”
My Uncle Tried to Make My Spring Break About Him by Announcing His (Benign) Brain Tumor
Yeah, I obviously feel bad, but seriously Uncle Chris…timing much?
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Quad Custodian Unearths Stunning 9 Foot Long Cum Fossil in Boys' Shower Drain
It’s sure to come in first place at this year’s national cum fossil convention.
OP-ED: Sorry I Took That $90k. It Went to a Better Cause.
As controversy brews over our handling of Penn Fight Night 2023, my guilty conscience implores me to break my silence. I, Ted Kwee-Bintoro, Vice President for Partnerships, Charity Affairs, and General Malfeasance of the Wharton Graduate Association, spent the missing money. But it went to a good cause: I’m doing a couple fat rails tonight.
Mr Beast’s $1 Million Challenge “How Many Items Can You Steal From Pret In 30 Seconds”
An anonymous source has leaked that the one quiet kid who’s actually really fucking sneaky was the winner.
An Epidemic of Loneliness: The Neglect of Penn’s Little In-Laws
I’ve been thinking about how to make Big-Little Week more about me, and I finally realized my very close personal connection to the various sisterhoods across campus.