Features  Published 22 hours ago

​Fling 2k15: A Comprehensive Guide

Fling is a “Pennstitution,” as the real journalists say. Here’s how to navigate campus once things start going mad.

Friday:

Early Morn

Read the Full Article

News  Published 04/16/15 5:00pm

Get A Free Uber Ride Tomorrow...If You Bring An Idea

Uber. Wharton. Privilege. Venture Capital. High ideas. Middle Class Status Anxiety. Fling Drunk. Tomorrow, all of these will combine into one of the coolest and strangest events we have ever seen. From noon to 4 p.m., if you request from University City, Center City, Old City, N3RD Street, Northern Liberties, or Fishtown, Uber will pick you up FOR FREE and you will have 15 minutes to pitch to Philly VCs and receive feedback on your idea.

What will you pitch at the height of your Fling drunk? Wawa food truck? On-campus Rumor? An app that indicates who is down to consensually DFMO? Something like Uber but all the cars are parade floats so you can turn everyday into Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Airbnb but for renting out the spaces on Kappa Sig's couches? An app that scans your pictures and tells you if your frat composite is racist or not? Wow. We cannot give you all the ideas. But good luck!


Features  Published 04/16/15 4:00pm

Kesha Lyrics That Perfectly Describe Your Phases Of Fling

If there's any artist equipped with the lyrical range to capture Fling's emotional/physical roller coaster, it's Ke$ha. Kesha's okay too. Here, we (with the help of Google images) give you all the Ke$ha lyrics you need to channel your inner $ through the highs and lows of Fling. 

When it's Thursday night and the Fling is young. Sunday is very far away. You're ready.

When you're poor from buying tickets to downtowns but you have ARRIVED.

Read the Full Article

News  Published 04/16/15 3:30pm

You Know You Make Me Wanna Shout(out) – Feeling passive-aggressive? Stressed? A little tipsy? All three? Release your Fling emotions by sending a Shoutout to 34th Street – it's basically the same thing as yoga. Easy as finding an intoxicated freshman trying to fight their way into the Quad, writing a Shoutout simply means submitting it here by 4/19. Send one to your TA, the squirrel that just won't leave you alone, maybe even Joey from Wawa. Check out past Shoutouts for inspiration. We recommend holding nothing back. As Kesha once said: Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat, just show me where your dick's Shoutouts at.

Read the Full Article

Features  Published 04/16/15 2:24pm

25 Fling Parties That Definitely Won't Get Shut Down

With the beginning of Fling comes the age-old dilemma of choosing which parties to attend. Where’s the best place to see your friends? Where’s the best place to roll? Most importantly, which parties won’t get quickly shut down?

Read the Full Article

News  Published 04/16/15 1:24pm

Honeygrow Coming To Penn

Betches, rejoice! Honeygrow is coming to Penn. The fast-casual restaurant known for its salads, stir-fry, and "honey bar" fruit cups will be strategically located right next to Pottruck. 

UTB Predictions:

1. A turf war with Sweetgreen is inevitable. They will wage battle over who can market themselves as being more environmentally-friendly while charging you $11.50 for lettuce. 

Read the Full Article

Features  Published 04/16/15 12:24pm

Alternative Ways To Roll At Fling

It’s nearly Fling, which means that a large portion of the Penn population will be talking about how cool and awesome and fun they are for rolling this weekend. Fewer people will actually end up rolling due to a combination of drunkenness and fear, but the ones that do hit up our pal Molly to jam to Kesha/Kygo will probably be sort of annoying about it because this is Penn.

Given that we’re a campus publication, we can’t really advocate in support of drug use on campus (although we can’t say we’re totally against it either), so we’ve come up with a helpful list of ways for you to roll this weekend without taking to a mystery substance that may or may not have been made in a bathtub.

- Roll up squad deep to an event

Read the Full Article

News  Published 04/15/15 6:16pm

Philly Bars May Soon Stay Open Until 4AM

Remember how you felt that one time you were sipping on a scrumptious appletini at a nameless downtown bar when minutes later you and your friends were being herded like sheep to exit the premises at 2 a.m.? We feel your pain. And so does Jordan Harris, a state representative who is planning to introduce a bill that will allow Pennsylvania businesses to be able to serve alcohol until 4 a.m. Harris's goal is to "appeal to young professionals and millennials" more because "Philadelphia has lagged behind other major cities as far as nightlife is concerned." Ah yes, the Smokes clientele must be growing a little old – let us liven up the bar scene with more sceney downtown spots. Either way, expect your cocktails to (maybe) be there for you until 4 in the morning.


News  Published 04/15/15 2:04pm

Send Us Your Fling Texts

UTB is officially taking Fling text submissions! For those on a need to know basis, here's the deal, pulled straight from the pages of Merriam Webster:

Texts From Fling

n. texts·from·fling 

Read the Full Article

Features  Published 04/15/15 1:32pm

The Anti-Flinger's Guide To Fling, Vol. 2

It's been 2 years since we first introduced you to the Scrooge of Fling: the man who avoids the bottle like it's his 9am recitation, the woman who eschews DJs because they "miss the days when music was all made on real instruments." So how to cope? Our advice, below, on being an Anti-Flinger at Fling:

1) On Thursday Night, Pretend You're Gluten-Free

Read the Full Article

Older Posts