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Satire  Published 07/12/18 6:08pm

New App Helps to Find Most Convenient Ladies’ Bathrooms in DRL

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Photo by Marco Verch / CC BY 2.0


A group of computer programmers and amateur cartographers have set out to solve the biggest problem facing approximately 33% of all undergraduate engineers: Where is the closest bathroom?

“It’s important to plan ahead when looking for a place to pee,” said the project leader, Sophia Parshall (E’19). “The nearest bathroom could easily be between a five- to fifteen-minute walk away. Honestly, we recommend recycling your urine like a hibernating bear, but not everyone has the biological capabilities to do this yet. Rest assured, there is a team of engineers and pre-med students working to solve this problem immediately.”

Parshall offered Under the Button an insider’s tour of the most underrated bathroom spots for anyone who identifies as a woman, including more popular options such as the 34th street Starbucks (as long as you memorize the passcode), Fisher Fine Arts, and a 44 oz Wawa cup. She also shared a few personal favorites that she only uncovered during the making of the app, like the bush outside of Towne and the Room of Requirement on the third floor of David Rittenhouse Laboratories.

Remember, ladies. It’s a man’s world. We’re just peeing in it.

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