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Satire  Published 06/28/18 11:37am

Greatest Student of All-Time Crushes Final After Mediocre Midterms

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons / CC 3.0


Leon Murphy (W ’19) is one of the greatest to ever do it. His professors and peers alike say he makes school look way too easy. In recent times, he has carried his family with his endless career prospects and success.

However, a recent spell of academic mediocrity in a world politics course saw Murphy’s reputation take a hit. He failed to capitalize on what seemed like a freebie about Icelandic settlement on one midterm, only to follow it up with a complete no-show on a midterm involving Croatia and the breakup of Yugoslavia.

Of course all of this happened while his over-achieving peer in the College, Christian Roberts (C ’19), maintained his pristine academic performance.

Nonetheless, it was only a matter of time before Murphy got it together. He performed admirably on the final—all about West African politics—to preserve his stellar record. Safe to say that form is temporary, but class is permanent.

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