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Satire  Published 05/20/18 1:37pm

Student Whose Dad Got Him Internship Thinks "Penn Students Are Way Too Privileged"

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Photo from Fearless Motivation / CC0


Victor Randal hates many things about Penn. Far too frequently, he can be spotted roaming campus and presenting his controversial opinions, regularly complaining about the privilege and entitlement amongst his peers. 

Despite the fact that Randal will be spending this upcoming summer working in a job for which he submitted no resume and had no interviews, he remains persistent in his mission to point out all the privilege on Penn's campus.  

"When you're given so much, you forget the importance of hard work and perseverance," remarked Randal, on his way home from a dentist appointment that his mom booked for him.

Randal, whose father owns a multinational financial organization and has a PhD from MIT, regularly recounts his impoverished upbringing. "Some nights, the butler would be sick and we would need to take the caviar out of the can ourselves. Even worse, when I turned 16, my mother made me start brushing my own teeth! Now THAT is how you learn to be disciplined." 

Though it's difficult for Randal to make his case while sitting in his Upper East Side mansion and snacking on his organic, Whole Foods kale chips, hopefully he enjoys his upcoming internship which he spent a total of 3 minutes working to receive.  

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