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Satire  Published 05/10/18 11:22am

OP-ED: Let's Hang Out And Catch Up But My Boyfriend Will Be There Too

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Photo by Elizabeth Beugg / The Daily Pennsylvanian 


Hey! Long time no see! I feel like we haven’t talked—like really talked— in forever. I thought I would reach out so we can find a time to catch up, just me and you, and chat about what’s new in our lives. Oh, and my boyfriend Jonathan will be there too.

We can just sit down and hash out the drama. I’ll tell you about the ways my childhood trauma has resurfaced this week and you tell me about the boy you have a crush on in your stat class. And don’t worry, Jonathan is great at keeping secrets.

When it comes to maintaining friendships, it is just so important to have to have one-on-one time. A chance to listen and learn and reconnect. Quality over quantity, as Jonathan would say. He is so smart and awesome. He is working for Google this summer. He really knows what he wants in life—it’s rare that you find someone with such great focus. I think that’s why we get along so well. Wait, were you trying to say something?

Anyway, let me know when you’re free. Jonathan and I have class from 2-3 on Mondays and Wednesdays, but any time other than that. Oh and we have plans to go out of town this weekend so not then either. And then Jonathan has a dentist appointment next Friday at 1, so that’s a no go. Rain check?

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