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Satire  Published 04/15/18 9:49am

This Environmental Studies Major Wants You to Know He UberPools to Class

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Photo by Elizabeth Beugg / The Daily Pennsylvanian


Unlike less eco-conscious Penn students, Environmental Studies sophomore David Friedman is doing his part to save our planet. “It’s disgusting how much waste we produce on campus,” Friedman said. “It’s time to make a change.”

Though the task might seem daunting, Friedman explained that there are many simple switches that can make a big difference. “For me personally, the first step towards a smaller carbon footprint was switching up my main mode of transportation. Now, instead of Ubering from New College House to DRL, I UberPool.”

Friedman doesn’t just UberPool to class. “Water waste is another huge issue,” explained Friedman. “I swapped my two hour shower for a quick trip to bathe in the Schulykill river each morning—via UberPool, of course.” These trips are multi-purpose for Friedman, who has grown increasingly concerned with water quality on campus. “I prefer to drink local,” he said. “I fill my Brita with river water.”

Safe to say, Friedman is a real champion for our planet. “Girls always ask me why I can’t make a commitment,” Friedman said. “Thanks but, I’m in a relationship with Mother Nature. Hoes are unsustainable.”

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