College Freshman Buys a Second Laptop to Fit All Her Stickers

College freshman Phoebe Slater has purchased a second laptop to have more space to display all of her laptop stickers. She announced the buy on Twitter, writing, “There was just no way to fit everything on my first MacBook Pro, so I bought a second.”

Slater has many passions, she told us. “Every part of me was clearly displayed, with the rainbow world map representing my love of all the queers, the cartoon avocado representing how fun and approachable I am, the peace sign representing my love of peace signs, the skyline of Chicago for the city that I live an hour outside of, and the martini glass to prove that I’m a heavy drinker.”

Everything was going smoothly for Slater, until she joined a sorority (which has requested to remain anonymous). This demanded the addition of at least three more stickers: one for the sorority itself, one for her lineage, and one that simply states her father’s net worth. With the upcoming 2018 election cycle, Slater will likely require a few more stickers to display her political endorsements.

‘’With the election cycle coming up, I need to have enough space to express everything about myself. Sure, you could talk to me face-to-face. But why do that when you can see my own idealized image of myself on my two laptops?”

Whenever Slater sits in a study space, she is sure to pull out both of her laptops to see the people around her learn about all of her fun personality traits.