Satire  Published 03/14/18 1:33am

'Please Be Gracious, We Have a Lot of Papers to Grade,' Says Professor Who Assigned 100 Pages of Reading, Take-home Midterm, and 2000-Word Essay

Late Monday afternoon after concluding lecture, Professor Marjorie Tyler urged students to “be gracious,” as she had many papers to grade over the coming week.

“Just say thank you before you leave class, because this week I will be devoting every moment of my free time to grading your papers,” Tyler said, fully aware that she had assigned an exorbitant amount of work for her students over the past two days.

Tyler’s plea comes in the wake of similar statements from professors in multiple departments, asking students to be patient if grades don’t arrive in a timely fashion. Professors noted that they still have to take time to eat and sleep, activities foreign to students who manage to cram multiple essays, readings, and exams into an unreasonable amount of time to meet professors’ “no extension” deadlines.

Some students have come up with a solution to professors’ apparent unmanageable responsibilities, suggesting that they “assign a reasonable workload.” However, hundreds of professors have since responded, “I don’t get it.”

UTB investigators have confirmed through anonymous sources that students will not receive feedback from Tyler on their papers until well into the summer.

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