Ananya Chandra | Corn-Loving Grandma
The Provost's Office recently let slip that former Vice President and ice cream connoisseur Joseph (Joe) Robinette Biden has will be teaching a section of Political Science 130, "Introduction to American Politics," this coming fall. According to the announcement, Biden hopes to bridge abstract theoretical material with his real-time experience adjacent to the Oval Office, and is looking forward to "deepening his connection with the Penn undergraduate community."
Penn students, sufficient to say, are "losing their shit" over the announcement.
College senior Carl Tilson told our reporters this morning that he plans to delay his graduation plans by an entire year in order "to get some one-on-one time with Joe." Tilson has already completed an honors thesis in Political Science centering on 21st century United States politics, but he definitely plans on retaking the large introductory-style course (which he got an A-minus in freshman year). Tilson hopes Political Science 130 — and Joe — will give him some much-needed inspiration to continue in politics in these dark times.
Wharton freshman Eileen Weathers has decided to switch schools and majors as a result of the news. She had planned to go into investment banking after school, but she figured that she might as well take a stab at political science while Joe's in the house.
But while most Penn students had overwhelmingly positive reactions to this stunning news, not all students were pleased.
"I doubt that Joe will even hold office hours," lamented Tess Prier, a particularly jaded sophomore. "I mean, I get it. He only loves ice cream and Obama. It's fine." Wiping away a single, frigid tear, Prier added that "Penn students are just Joe's White House rebound. He needs to stop playing these mind games with us and go get a real job again." She looked deeply into our reporter's eyes, took a deep breath, and admitted, "I'm sorry. I just get emotional when Joe comes up. He's burned us before."
Prier referred to the initial announcements of Joe's involvement with the University, which many trusting students took to mean that Joe would immediately be a present part of campus life. However, Joe has taken a more Amy Gutmann-esque position: whenever he appears, he causes a fuss and draws a crowd, and then poof, he slips away in the blink of an eye.
Overall, this announcement marks a fantastic opportunity for Penn students to learn from the accomplished Biden.