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Satire  Published 03/12/18 12:27pm

Shocking: Girl Who Commented 'Stunning' On Her Friend's Instagram Photo Not Actually Stunned

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Photo from Pixabay / CC0


Emergency services were notified last night of a potentially unconscious student in Riepe College House. A concerned bystander reported the incident after reading a comment left by Rachel Beyers (C '19) on an Instagram post by Lily Fitz (W '19).

Beyers had claimed Fitz’s post was ‘stunning,’ indicating that the image had rendered her into a dazed or unconscious state. Despite this, the emergency response team found Beyers fully functioning and conscious.

According to her peers, Beyers is no stranger to the hyperbole. On past posts, Beyers had commented things like ‘breathtaking,’ ‘jaw-dropping,’ and ‘I would murder my first born child at the top of Mount Kilimanjaro while all three of its volcanic cones erupt into flames preserving my body in ash if I could be as perf as you. Like wtf.”

“So I like to build my friends up, what’s the big deal?” said Beyers. “It’s called good karma, look it up.”

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