Satire  Published 03/11/18 5:49am

​Frat Pledge One Last Workshop on Consent Away From Finally Respecting Women


Photo by Free-Photos / CC0

What a guy! Freshman pledge Anthony Ludger (C ’21) “totally gets it now.” After taking a mandatory workshop on consent for his fraternity, it all became clear. “I don’t know how it took me so long,” he said coming out of the workshop. “I’m an ally now. Go ahead, ask me anything concerning women. I can speak for all of them.”

Ludger really feels like a changed man. No more are the days of hitting up women late at night only to leave an hour later. He even considers himself a feminist now. “I’m woke.” When asked what the workshop taught him exactly, he shrugged saying, “that women deserve respect, the right to vote, all of that stuff, you know.” He truly is enlightened.

Ludger donates to Planned Parenthood now. He even went to the Women’s March. He loves women, he claims. As he always says, “Women should be treated with dignity, the exact same as men. Besides my ex. Because let me tell you, that girl was crazy.” 

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