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Satire  Published 02/11/18 2:46pm

Freshman Changes Last Name to Rockefeller to Improve Chances of Getting Into Castle

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Photo by California DMV, modified by Jonah Weinbaum / CC0


Randy Goldberg had a problem: he wanted to live in a castle, but didn’t have the connections or money to join the only Castle on campus. He knew that if he wanted to fulfill his dream, he had to take action.

Goldberg brainstormed ways he could overcome his disadvantage. Set his father up with a Spanish princess? Too difficult. His dad had great love for his mother. Simply go into debt to buy lavish items? Seemed like poor financial management. Learn an accent to seem international? Could work, but it would be annoying to keep up.

That's when it hit him. “I can just change my last name to Rockefeller, implying I am related to the famous captain of industry, and thus a man of some status myself, and they’ll surely let me in!” he realized.

Goldberg had his name legally changed for $200 (a small amount compared to the cost of a Rolex… but that is irrelevant) and was, from then on, officially Randy Rockefeller. He was accepted into Castle, but unfortunately only made it a year before the brothers questioned why everyone in his family had the surname ‘Goldberg.’

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