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Satire  Published 12/04/17 11:26pm

Owned: Trump Creates New Tax Plan to Get Back at Grad Student TAs Who Failed Him

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Photo by Ilana Wurman / The Daily Pennsylvanian


Trump’s been having a rough year. With an administration bogged down by scandal, horrifically low approval ratings, and a media that just can’t seem to get off his back, the poor guy really just needs a couple victories under his belt.

Enter the new Trump tax plan.

Passing both the House and the Senate, this broad tax overhaul will keep legal scholars up at night for the next few years.

But we at UTB don’t need to waste our time. We know what’s up.

Mr. Trump takes great pride in his Wharton degree. And he just knows, he just knows that he deserved to be at the top of his class.

And who stopped him from getting there?

Those darn TAs.

Well, now it’s payback time. The current draft of the tax plan proposes to increase graduate student taxes by roughly 400 percent, totally showing those mean old TAs what’s what.

Epic win!

We talked to John Baker, a fourth year PhD student TAing intermediate Chemistry, about this sweet, sweet justice.

“Yeah, [Trump] really got me,” Baker told us, fighting back what we assumed were tears of joy. “Between raising a five-month-old by myself, trying to get myself grant funding for my research, and buying a new stack of red pens after each midterm, I really haven’t had time to think about whose feelings I might be hurting.”

Serves you right John!

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