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Satire  Published 12/07/17 11:07am

Penn Junior Faced Off Against "Brutal" Competition to Win Inaugural CIS Beyblade Showdown

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Photo from Wikimedia Commons // CC0


You may have recently heard about a spelling bee that took place last week, but we highly doubt it was half as intense as this: the Inaugural CIS Beyblade Showdown.

Jeffrey Xu (E ’19) won $20 Dining Dollars for defeating his opponent at the showdown in Levine Hall this week. Sponsored by the Engineering Advisory Board, the event saw Beyblades of all types pitted against one another in hopes of securing glory.

Xu regularly competed in local Beyblade duels throughout elementary and middle school, but he actually felt challenged this time. “This was pretty brutal—it was like way worse than a bloodbath,” Xu said, all but confirming that anyone who thinks Beyblade isn’t serious doesn’t really get anything in life.

Wednesday’s event was Michael Andersen’s (E ’20) first showdown. He decided to wing it, but used his knowledge of Striker, Defender and Survivor Beyblades, which helped him win difficult battles. However, his knowledge wasn’t helpful enough to defeat the Balance Beyblade in the second-last round. Sucks to suck.

When another challenger was eliminated for not deploying his Beyblade properly, he received encouragement from the audience. “It’s okay, you still have a job at Facebook!” someone shouted.

We asked participants about the future of the event. “Hopefully we’re going to do it next year as well. It wouldn’t really be Penn if we didn’t make a competition out of it, would it?” said Engineering Advisory Board member Rich Lee.

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