About

Satire  Published 12/07/17 10:46am

How to Love Him Even After He Pronounces Jalapeño With a Hard J

man2308464_960_720

Photo by pixabay / CC0


Relationships are complicated and take work. The longer you stay with someone, the more you start to discover and dwell on their flaws. Just the other day, you went to grab tacos with your boyfriend for the first time. Here are 6 ways keep the love alive even after you realized he pronounces jalapeño with a hard J.

1. Denial

Denial is great because you can pretend it just didn’t happen! Go on loving him as you did, and forget about the fact that your loving boyfriend of 6 months doesn’t know how to pronounce one of the most mildly foreign colloquial words. Jalepena with a hard J, hard N, and a final A, who? I don’t know him ;)

2. Rationalization

Fine, your boo did indeed pronounce jalapeño with a hard J while ordering something spicy at Honest Tom’s Tacos, but he only took 3 years of Spanish! How was he to know? You know what everyone says, Spanish is by far the hardest language for native English speakers to learn. Isn’t it? Isn’t it??? And you know what, sure, that wasn’t the right way to pronounce that word, but it sure as hell kept life spicy because you were not expecting that.

3. Compartmentilization

Ok, yes, he mispronounced jalepeño, but that's just one facet of his identity. He's also hot! Stay in the present and only focus on what's important.

4. Creating an Action Plan

Yes, mistakes have been made, but you love him, and are willing to put in the work. Make a plan of action with him, so terrifying incidents like this don’t happen in the future. Number one on list: Maybe listen to others when they’re saying common words like jalapeño? Maybe that will help? Who knows.

5. Direct and Aggressive Confrontation

Sometimes you have to talk things out to move forward. Sometimes you have to vent. Sometimes you have to have a full breakdown for him to say, “oh lol J’s are like H’s in Spanish?” Yes you love him, but for things to work out, he needs to know how upsetting it is to hear that word pronounced that way. Not just for you, but for all of America.

6. Thinking Ahead

Encourage him to try other foods. Wait... Did he just order a quesadilla, soft U, hard L? Love can only jump so many hurdles.

All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.