Satire  Published 12/08/17 1:40am

​If You Answered "10 or More Sexual Encounters" on the Penn Sex Survey, Expect an Email From the Creator


Graphic from "Sex at Penn Survey Results"

If you follow the Official Unofficial Penn Squirrel Catching Club page on Facebook, chances are you noticed a sex survey for Penn students. The survey garnered a huge response, by far larger than the PULSE Survey, and collected some pretty insightful data. However, the motives behind this survey are not as straightforward as the creator might have led you to believe.

Many of the questions were innocent enough, but if your response to the question regarding your number of sexual encounters at Penn was “10+,” expect an email from the creator. The whole survey was possibly just a huge ploy to single out the Penn students with the highest sex drives. The creator gathered this data and began reaching out to specific students, asking them to hang out or sending blank emails with the subject line, “Hey, you up?”

Disappointingly, the emails were not very effective. So in order to increase his chances, the author cross-referenced the data with other questions on the survey. If you were one of the 34.1% of Penn students in the 10+ club and also responded that you weren’t sexually satisfied, expect an edible arrangement with a phone number at your door.

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