Four Study Hacks You Will Not Use Because You Can't Stop Procrastinating

Worried about finals? Here are four study hacks you'll ignore because you won't stop procrastinating.

1. Get exercise

Making sure you’re not sitting down all day is key to keeping your mind focused—I personally recommend attempting to swim the English Channel every two hours to refresh yourself. But instead of using this effective study technique, you’re probably in bed, watching glue-making tutorials on YouTube or shearing your neighbor’s lamb.

2. Focus on one task at a time

Scientists say it is impossible for humans to effectively multitask. I didn’t believe this until I tried keeping my two children alive at the same time. To apply this to your finals cramming, make sure you study for only one test—better to get one A and three F’s than four A minuses, right? It’s a shame that instead, you’ll be focused on the one task of disappointing your friends and family with your poor academic performance.

3. Stay hydrated

Most people agree that water is dangerous. True, it causes most drowning incidents, and my great-aunt Jemima died from choking on it. However, when sipped through the mouth and swallowed, water can provide benefits that may save your life during finals week. Most importantly, it allows you to sweat and show to everyone in the library how hard you’re studying. If you just decided for once in your life to do your work in a timely manner, you would be able to try out this useful study tip.

4. Use Flash Cards

Nothing beats good ol’ flash cards. On one side of the card is a key term, and on the other side is a bright flash that will blind you, allowing you to take the exam at a later date for medical reasons. Too bad you won’t be able to use this fantastic study hack, you rotten, procrastinating piece of garbage.