Satire  Published 11/30/17 10:18pm

Student Finally Crosses "Make To-Do List" Off Provisional To-Do List


Photo from Pexels / CC0

In a moment of triumph over the seemingly endless deluge of end-of-semester midterm exams, group projects, and term papers, Kyra Mills (C '20) managed to make a small dent in her to-do list this morning. 

Wielding her pen in visible exultation, she drew a dark, clean line through item number eight—"Make to-do list"—and huffed a sigh of relief, knowing that she was one step closer to completing the provisional to-do list she had crafted earlier in the week. 

"I knew I couldn't start on actual school work until I replaced the toilet paper, washed the dishes, bought groceries, and unpacked my suitcase from Thanksgiving break. And how would I remember to actually get to the school work unless I made a to-do list to remind myself?" Mills explained. "So I wrote up a preliminary to-do list to make sure all the pressing issues were taken care of. That list obviously included making the next to-do list." 

So, with a linen closet full of toilet paper and a freezer stocked with Halo Top, Mills defeated the most daunting task of them all and crafted a brand new catalog of urgent responsibilities. 

Well, at least that's one less thing to worry about.

All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.