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Satire  Published 10/15/17 10:12am

Report: Penn Student Walking Down Locust in Yale Sweatshirt Either Really Smart or Really, Really Stupid

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Photo By: Yale University / CC WikiCommons


PHILADELPHIA – Spotting what appeared to be an anonymous Penn classmate on Locust Walk donning a navy blue sweatshirt with the unmistakable "YALE"  lettering emblazoned across the front, some Penn students have concluded that the student’s choice of sweatshirt indicates that he is either very smart or very, very stupid.

“I mean, there are a couple options here. He was either going to go to Yale and couldn’t attend for some reason, but kept the sweatshirt he already bought... Which is totally reasonable and means he’s really smart,” said Sarah S. (W’19) when asked for comment. She continues, “Or he is literally unaware of what college he is physically at right now, in which case he’s pretty dumb.”

The student, seen walking to his classes that presumably take place at Penn and not in New Haven, CT, has mystified his fellow students. “I mean, maybe he’s a Yale student visiting, in which case he’s very smart,” theorized Jon P. (SEAS '18), “but I also see he’s attending classes and doing homework, which would just indicate he’s a huge idiot who doesn’t realize he’s at the wrong school.”

As he gave no outward signs that he did know that Penn was a completely different school and in a different state than Yale, many students concluded the seasonally dressed stranger was simply an idiot.

“I guess another option is that he is a Yale student but became so hopelessly lost walking to class, he ended up in Philadelphia,” added Jon, “but, yeah, that would still mean he is pretty dumb.”

At press time, the student was seen wearing a backwards Harvard baseball cap, leading most students to simply give up trying to figure out what his deal is.

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