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Satire  Published 10/04/17 8:21am

7 Reasons Penn State Is an Awesome School, but Also I Don't Go There

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Photo by Ben Stanfield / CC Share-Alike 2.0


Recently I have come to the realization that good things in life need to be celebrated, so here are just some things I love about an awesome school I actually dont go to.

Campus

God, have you ever seen a more beautiful campus?! I sure haven’t. I almost wish I could live there, which is an important clarification to make because I actually don’t live there. Weird.

Football

Whenever I see pictures of PSU’s football games I get so excited by the spirit and the energy! Game day at PSU is a sight to be seen, but not by me because I go to school a little over three hours away. That would be quite the trek am I right?

Greek Life

Over the past year Penn state has come under a lot of scrutiny for violent hazing situations, but I want to make something clear, hazing is an epidemic all over the country, not just at Penn State. Honestly, my school has had issues of its own with its Greek institutions. When I say my school, I’m referring to the University of Pennsylvania, which is, in fact, a separate and unrelated school. The majority of Frats and Sororities at Penn State are filled with kind and generous young people, forming communities to call home within a big institution. I bet I could find a welcoming and intelligent community of sisters for life at a Penn State Sorority, but I actually can’t rush because that’s not where I go.

Food

All of my friends call me a snob when it comes to food. I don’t like putting up with institutional food, and I’m a bit of health nut, so finding good food in college can feel like a real challenge, but PSU’s food looks delish! Sometimes when I’m at home I crave the food I imagine exists in Penn State’s Redifer Commons, but I could not definitively tell you what it tastes like. I’ve never tried it.

The Mascot

Fearsome Lion? King of the jungle? Sign me up! Wait actually don’t because I don’t think you’re allowed to enroll in two universities at once and I’m already enrolled in a fully separate school.

Value

With great food, extra-curriculars and academics, the value of Penn State at its current price point is hard to beat. Honestly you could have a real discussion, with fair arguments on either side, about which school is better, PSU or my school which is a different school than PSU. I don’t know about you, but I’d probably argue Penn State; I freaken love that school! With that in mind, that is actually not the institution I’m enrolled at.

Community

In the end the best part about Penn State is the community, no, the family, you become a part of once you enroll. Wherever you are in the world, there’s always a Lion looking out for you. I always say this, once a lion, always a lion, but I'm actually not a lion. Common mistake, not an issue, but I dont go there.

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