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Satire  Published 10/12/17 5:46pm

Whoops! Penn Accidentally Raised Amy G’s Rent and Now She’s Homeless

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Photo By Carson Kahoe / Daily Pennsylvanian


Recently, students have been highly critical of the University’s decisions on all sorts of policies governing student life. Continuing on this trend of ineptitude, it looks like the administration still can’t catch a break this week. Sadly, Penn Facilities & Real Estate Services has hiked up Amy Gutmann’s rent so much that she can’t afford to live on campus anymore. It looks like it’s a bad day to be President of the University of Pennsylvania!

With campus rents skyrocketing it isn’t a surprise that the University wants to squeeze every last cent out of its tenants, but in a boneheaded clerical oversight it mistakenly swapped Gutmann’s and The Fresh Grocer’s leases, forcing Amy to either pay the exorbitant prices Penn is currently charging Frogro or move out. Seeing as how Gutmann is going through a bit of a rough patch financially her housing options are a extremely limited.

Even though Amy's gotten pretty comfortable with the city of Philadelphia in her tenure as President, we’ve got to imagine that she doesn’t want to rough it on the streets while she tries to talk her way into a new place. In the meantime we're hoping that Amy can get back on her feet and housed in another palatial estate as soon as possible, with maybe only a couple of 4.7 percent salary increases along the way!

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