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Satire  Published 10/03/17 1:58pm

Oops! Penn Has Been Paying a Joe Biden Impersonator This Whole Time

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Amy Gutmann’s got a lot of explaining to do. Penn just discovered that the man they thought was former Vice President Joe Biden is a Joe Biden impersonator!

The man running the Penn Biden Center for Diplomacy and Global Engagement is actually Carl Belmont of Cherry Hill, NJ. Carl has been impersonating Joe Biden for more than four decades, ever since the real Joe was elected to the US Senate in 1974.

Now, Penn is investigating how it hired an impersonator to be the most popular celebrity professor on campus. A University inquiry is probing which other famous Penn faculty and alumni are actually impersonators. Adam Grant, Angela Duckworth, and John Legend are all targets.

When asked for a statement, Carl simply replied, “Carl Belmont? I don’t know him personally, but I fought for him and every other American taxpayer when I was Vice President of the United States.”

Belmont strongly rebuked the accusations. “We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society,” he said. “This nuclear option is ultimately an example of the arrogance of power."

“Barack Obama is my best friend and I love giving hugs,” he added.

According to his website, CupOfJoeEntertainment.com, Belmont is “America’s finest Joe Biden impersonator” and is “available for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and prestigious university professorships.”

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