Satire  Published 10/10/17 11:59pm

Engineering Student Already Has “Way More Work than You”


Photo: Anna Joy Muether // Humane Pursuits 

Midterm season has finally arrived, and this means that students are beginning to spend long nights studying, reviewing, and hopefully acing their exams. For some students, however, their extensive workload makes academic success a difficult endeavor.

Engineering sophomore VJ Ranjan has reportedly been going around campus for the past two weeks, explaining to everyone in his path how much work he has.

“I’m taking 7.5 classes, and I'm on the board of 10 clubs. I have 3 midterms at the same time tomorrow, and 9 problem sets due in the next hour. I haven’t slept in the past 2 weeks,” Ranjan exclaimed, as he promptly proceeded to tell a random employee at Chipotle this same information.

Ranjan has also been spotted walking into Huntsman GSRs and declaring that if he was in Wharton his life would be so much easier, immediately before listing all of his tasks and responsibilities on the GSR’s whiteboards.

According to his roommates, Ranjan can regularly be seen roaming their apartment at 4 in the morning, waking them all up, and telling them about all of his work. “This guy just straight up doesn’t sleep,” says Rick Lee, Ranjan’s roommate. “But not because he has too much work. Because he’s up all night telling everyone about his work.”

Those who wish to speak to Ranjan personally about his immense commitments can find him aimlessly roaming around DRL with a coffee in one hand and a laptop in the other, so as to exemplify how much work he truly has.

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